Constructive advice greatly appreciated (discussion is a valuable part of this site).

[Janetex]

Heartfelt thanks for all the objective ideas. Here's my plan: I have discussed it at length with Social Services whose initial action would be to call the mother into the regional office for discussion. She's a pillar of the community and even SS doubts they'd get very far very fast, plus this would cut us off. It is the girl's birthday next week and I plan to do her a fancy parcel of all her favourite fruits & veg, in the hope that my husband & I can convince the mother that this is a supportive wake up call.. He is the godfather & also prepared to take action. Failing this, I shall contact the teacher and make an appointment to see their GP, which is making me feel like a terrible traitor. Because of mandatory reporting, I can't mention names, but intend to leave the professionals in no doubt. And, yes, the boy is now 16, still raiding the fridge and doing well. I'll let you know the outcome.

[apricot]

Whatever happens now you will know that you have taken the right course of action to support the health, safety and welfare of the children. You should not be criticised for that. The next few weeks may be difficult be stay strong.

[woofgang]

Thanks for the update, I don't know the children or you but you have been in my thoughts and prayers