As a Remainer, I have no argument with your remarks , except I would rather stay inside and try to reform it, than step outside and face alone the trading competition of the likes of China, Russia, and the US and slowly decline into Third World status.
The undemocratic unelected Commission is indeed the major flaw in the present EU setup, but with the power of the Brexit vote behind us (and similar stirrings which as a result emerged at the time from one or two other major EU countries, which we could have tapped into and exploited) we could have begun to turn it into a more democratic outfit - it would be a struggle, but as in 39-45 we could overcome, but we chose instead to run away. A great shame because the vote could have been a powerful pivot, without cutting off our nose to spite our face by actually leaving.
This is my personal view, pessimistic as it may appear, and the Brexiteers have so far failed to convince me otherwise. I hope I am wrong, but I have already observed many of the so-called Project Fear warnings materialising since Article 50 was signed, and my concern is it will get worse, especially if the no-deal version prevails (which seems almost inevitable).
I hope this helps you to see the Remainer view (or mine at least) in a more enlightened way, even though I do not expect you to change your views.