I have just got home and found my wife waiting for me in just knee-high leather boots and a tiny g-string. Needless to say I’m going to be busy all afternoon, it will take me ages to retune my guitar.
I have been trying to do a deal to takeover a company that claim to have invented a spray that makes red wine stains vanish. I really hope it comes off.
I am going to take up playing polo, I hear they make a mint doing that.
I got my results back from my last maths exam. I only got one question wrong. Apparently the compliment to a 30 degree angle is not: You’re looking acute today.
I threw a birthday party for my dog. He wouldn’t fetch it though.
My friend once decided to stick an arrow in the ground. I couldn’t see the point.
I once won a game of snakes and ladders. I couldn’t help thinking the prizes on daytime quiz shows were getting worse.
I went to a housewarming party, they said bring a gift, I brought them a calor gas heater.
Last time I did a vault, I ripped my leotard. The rest of the gang don’t think I am cut out for bank robbery.
I tried ringing up the compulsive liar society but it turned out I had the wrong number