I Paid

[marval]

I paid a woman to pose as my girlfriend at a social gathering. On our way home I got a bit touchy and she pulled a gun on me. Who would have thought it, an armed escort.

There are two things at life that I have failed at; producing computer software, and fishing. I just can’t make a network.

The cake I have just made is really boastful. I guess I shouldn’t have used self-praising flour.

I got fired from my job in the dairy factory. I kept getting in the whey.

I have got a new job. I am now an Underwater Ceramics Technician. Well, I say that, I am more of a dishwasher.

I organised a drinks party for Tory Jamaicans in Yorkshire. It was a right rum do.

My new job as a steeplejack is going great. I have been getting stacks of work.

At the Doctor’s earlier, I explained that in every sentence I feel compelled to use the words ‘because, then and so.’ I am being treated for conjunctionitis.

My labourer doesn’t believe I can speak to spirits on one of my work tools. He said, “Honestly?” “On the level.” I replied.

I have got a job joining metal plates together, apparently it is riveting stuff.

[Arksided]

ha-ha very good.

[Patsy33]

Lol. Great puns Marval because they're good then so are you..I think I have conjuctionitis too! :-)