Should I Interfere ?

[Samuraisan]

I have three children, my daughter is 41, and two sons 33 and 32. They all get on very well and socialize together, and the two boys adore my daughter's two children. We have a family whassup that we all contribute to daily and make comments about others posts and photos. I have a feeling that there is a problem between the two eldest and my youngest son. Last weekend he didn't turn up as promised to my gd's basket ball match as hehad had a bit of a wild night the night before, and I know his brother and sister were furious. My youngest is not commenting on the whassup as he would do normally and I can't see any interaction. This is very unusual. Should I interfere or let them work it out between themselves ? Maybe just wait a bit longer and see ? My daughter and her family are away this weekend, so is my elder son with his gf, so there are a lot of photos and messages on whassup. I see the younger one reads my comments, but doesn't contribute. I would so hate it if they drifted apart.

[dannyk13]

I think that they are old enough to work it out among themselves.

[emmie]

so do i, let them be and see how it pans out.

[aelmpvw]

//he didn't turn up as promised to my gd's basket ball match as hehad had a bit of a wild night the night before, and I know his brother and sister were furious//
furious, really?

[Jackdaw33]

What The Funicular is whassup?

[ummmm]

I wouldn't interfere as such but I would ask about it.

My kids are always falling out but it never lasts long.

[Tilly2]

Leave them to it. Don't get involved.

[douglas9401]

It's a semi-secret club where people dress up as frogs and drink Bud, Jackdaw.

or WhatsApp, I suppose.

[Samuraisan]

WhatsApp. In Spain it is coloquially known as whassup. sorry.

[goodgoalie]

Whatsapp, jack.
I think you should let them get on with it, Sam. Sounds like you're all too much in each other's lives with all these posts and updates 'every day'.

[pastafreak]

Whatsapp...? A free messaging service, jackdaw.

[pastafreak]

Should have added...I also think you should let them get on with it. They are not children who need parental guidance.
Just keep an eye on things.

[ummmm]

No harm in asking though. Asking is not interfering.

[Samuraisan]

Thanks for your opinions, yes I think I will leave them to sort it out, maybe I am imagining it being worse than it is anyway. Just want everyone to be happy.

[New Judge]

It sounds to me as you are living too much in each other's pockets. For example:

"My daughter and her family are away this weekend, so is my elder son with his gf, so there are a lot of photos and messages on whassup."

Can't they each have a weekend away without having to mess about with pictures and messages? It could be that your younger son has realised this and is keeping (what I would regard as) a sensible distance. It may also be that his siblings being "furious" for not turning up at the basketball match might have been a bit over the top for him.

[Samuraisan]

The youngest one is taking me to the movies on Tuesday ( Bohemian Rhapsody , can't wait) so if I still feel this way then, I will ask him if everything is ok.

[dannyk13]

Sam //Just want everyone to be happy.//
In a parallel universe maybe.

[maggiebee]

Best to leave things alone Samuraisan, they are all adults.

[Maydup]

I'm one of three and it has its ups and downs, just like yours are having. One does or says something and the other two get annoyed. Although we dont use Whatsapp, so it takes a few weeks to filter through.

Do leave them to it, and let the youngest be a bit wild sometimes. They will all be fine again in a few days especially if you all try really hard to give each other a bit of space.

[jno]

nothing unusual about parents still worrying about adult children, I do it lots. But I'd let this one lie for a while: if the source of any friction only happened a week ago, they'll have time to sort it out themselves.

It does occur to me that fury is an extreme reaction to missing a basketball match, whoever is playing in it.