What Would You Do

[Quizproquo]

I have a big birthday soon. I have a nought on the end. My partner, who I don't live with has given me some money, but mentioned that I know my daughter is skint.
I want to spend it on myself but right now it feels like an obligation to pass it on rather than accept it as a present and I will feel very guilty if I don't give it away.
I don't have a lot of money to spend on myself usually.
Right now, I want to give it back. It should feel nice but doesn't.
What are your thoughts please?
BTW, my daughter is in her 30s so it's not my fault they don't have much and I have handed over thousands in the past and helped out in other ways.
I feel this is spoiling my birthday but feel guilty for wanting it to be about me.

[tinkerbell23]

Keep it you deserve a treat.... or give her a small token of it if you really feel so bad.

Its YOUR birthday & you deserve something nice xx

[kvalidir]

It was given to you so spend it on yourself, she's not your responsibility financially and nor can people expect to direct where present go. Develop a dose of thick skin on this occasion, buy what you want and be excited about it, and don't feel guilty. x

[DTCwordfan]

spend some (most) of it on yourself at the very least.......

[ubasses]

Agree wth the others, spend it on yourself. Chance is he has only mentioned your daughter being skint as a hint not to expect much from her.

[maggiebee]

Your partner gave it to you to treat yourself on your birthday. Have a ball spending it on YOURSELF.

[Mamyalynne]

I think it was a touch unfair to hand you the gift with that statement, but let that pass and get yourself something lovely.x

[Quizproquo]

Thank you. Ubasses, he already knows that I don't expect anything because we have turned it around to where we're travelling to my daughter instead of her coming to me, paying for the local attraction we're going to and paying for food. My daughter pays nothing and that's fine.
I wish I could grow a thick skin but I can't.
My partner also mentioned he'd given me more than he was going to for this reason.
I'm really miffed that I've been put in this position and feel the only way out is to give the money back but that would deprive me of one of at least 3 things that are usually impossible for me to save for.
I really wanted this birthday to be fun and this is really throwing a dampener on it. :(

[Patsy33]

Stop the guilt thing! I'd hope your daughter would want you to have it and buy something you want/need. Enjoy your forthcoming birthday, with a 0 on the end! x

[-SharonA-]

As stated it is your day and present. Enjoy it, spend it on yourself. You really have to be tough where your daughter is concerned.

[Tuvok]

Get a small something that you could share eg. engraved matching necklaces etc. and then spend the rest on yourself.

[tinkerbell23]

If it helped you could treat her to a small voucher for a meal out or a new top or something but limit it at that.... this is for YOU xx

[woofgang]

Your daughter is 30...she should be making her own way by now unless she has some kind of disability.

[bednobs]

if your partner wants to gift your daughter some money he can. but thisis your gift

[ummmm]

Spend it on yourself. I would...

[tamborine]

giving his money to your dter could make your dter feel obligated to your partner. Treat yourself, your dter can borrow your gift.

[jakep]

Of course it’s about you, you have the nought birthday.
Please try and enjoy it just for you

[Quizproquo]

Thank you to everyone who answered.
What I really wanted t odo with it is to pay for a hotel room so me and my best friend could be together on my birthday. We both live in different cities these days but have a mutual base.
You helped me to have to courage of conviction to do that so thank you. Half of the money is now spent on a hotel room for her and her partner.
As for the rest, it's no longer enough to spend on the big items that I wanted, so I think I might split it between me and my daughter. but only give them enough for a nice night out or something.
You're right, next year is a birthday but this year is a birthday with a nought on and I've made myself happy without being selfish I hope.