Divorce Inquiry

[Bigfellah]

Does this section cover divorce inquiries as a result of adultery?
Thanks

[Tilly2]

Probably. What's the question?

[ummmm]

I thought there was no blame in divorce anymore?

[hc4361]

ummm, you still need to show that your marriage has irretrievably broken down and adultery is one reason. The others are unreasonable behaviour, desertion, 2 years separation with consent from spouse or 5 years separation without consent

[Buenchico]

Some general advice here:
https://www.gov.uk/divorce
(Click through the links)

[Bigfellah]

https://www.gov.uk/divorce/grounds-for-divorce

Your husband or wife had sexual intercourse with someone else of the opposite sex.

The law recognises the act of adultery as sexual intercourse between a man and a woman.

You cannot give adultery as a reason if you lived together as a couple for 6 months after you found out about it.

[Buenchico]

Well you've quoted from my link but, unless I'm missing something here, you've not added to your original question. Is there something specific which you need to know about?

[gollob]

So does same sex adultery not count then as a reason for divorce

[Old_Geezer]

Maybe that is covered by unreasonable behavior ?

[Bigfellah]

Reason for asking is that I have met a woman in another country and we would like to get married. We have "committed adultery" when I have visited her in that country over the past three years.

However, I am married (30 + years) in the UK. My wife, with whom I live in my house in the UK, is not aware of this relationship. Whilst we still sleep in same bed my wife has not been intimate with me for nigh on 14 years (she seems to be asexual). (Unreasonable behaviour???)

[naomi24]

Don't bank on anything you're told here because this is just 'chat' and you're never going to get advice that is guaranteed to be legitimate. All you will ever get is opinions.

[Buenchico]

Your wife can seek a divorce on the grounds of 'adultery'; you can't.

I doubt that a court would accept "a lack of intimacy" as constituting 'unreasonable behaviour'. The changes to the laws on rape have made it clear that there is no 'right' to sex within marriage, so it follows that you can't be seen to have been denied any such 'right'.

All you realistically do in your situation (unless you're prepared to wait 5 years) is to make it clear to your wife that you regard your relationship as at an end, offering to pay all her costs if she'll seek a divorce on the grounds of your adultery (and possibly offering a decent financial settlement as an incentive too).

[Peter Pedant]

well the divine Nigh may be right after all

The court needs proof that your marriage has broken down, some examples of this behaviour include;

Lack of emotional support
Violence / Physical abuse
Verbal abuse
Financially irresponsible e.g. failure to support the family, household costs.
Lack of support in general, around the house, in your career etc
Gambling on a frequent basis and/or creating debt without your knowledge
Drug/alcohol abuse
Refusal to discuss/work on issues within the marriage
Not wanting to engage in any sexual or physical relations
Limited socialising happens as a couple
How should I structure the examples?
A selection of the above examples will not be enough for the court to decide whether your divorce should be allowed. You need to provide specific examples (around five in total) about what, when and how it made you feel. For example;

“The Petitioner has not had sexual relations with the Respondent since March 2015.”

https://amicable.io/examples-unreasonable-behaviour/

from what you have said I dont think your divorce should be do-it-yourself and so you should think of seeing lawyer ( moolah needed)

[kvalidir]

It depends if you think your wife will play ball. If not you could simply ask her to leave because you've met someone new and see if she files for divorce on the grounds of your adultery. I think letting her know you 'want' a divorce may be entirely self defeating at least initially. I know of someone who has flatly refused and obstructed every single step of the way her husbands bid to divorce her when he met someone else because he wanted a divorce. If he'd not said he wanted to marry the other woman she'd have divorced in him in six months. I should point out I feel sorry for your wife however and that is a somewhat unkind way of going about things.

[Peter Pedant]

there is one wife in denial and the fees bill is something like £250 000
she has defended the petition all the way - the marriage aint roken - they will get back together et c etc

[kvalidir]

Yes this woman is very similar, the more money (most of which is his) she can spend on opposing his wishes the happier she is. Devastated though I'm sure she is deep down, she'd have been better spending it on herself having a lovely time and trying to heal from the way he's made her feel, now he hates her, but as long as she's still Mrs Hisname and the other woman isn't she's happy. Bitterness has a high price. Poor everyone :(

[tamborine]

Cheaper to convert to islam & tell No1 wife that No2 wife will share the home ;)