Independent Daughter?

[boona]

Do you think my 8yr old is mean if she doesn't want her school friends to join her new dancing school or is she just showing independence? She has a few best friends at school and they used to all go to the same dancing school but I moved my daughter this year to a new dance school (a better one) She didn't know anyone at first but has since made some new friends and really enjoys it. Her school friends are thinking now of joining but DD doesn't want them too. She said it is because they won't be able to watch her in the annual dance show as they will be in it too! She is 8yrs

[kvalidir]

With any performing art, sh will find that everyone wants to go to the brightest and best school, the most connected teacher, the very best training. It's just common sense. If these three girls ( your daughter and her 2 friends) are all serious about a dance career then they will dog her every step of the way.
Every major audition I've ever been to (I'm an actress not a dancer) I've wished certain other people weren't called or worse still invited without applying (because that means you're in the also ran stakes if the invited's don't accept it for any reason). However, it pays to be nice, warm and inclusive under such circumstances or you soon get a reputation for being a diva, and then people don't want YOU around. She'd do well to smile, welcome them and understand how performance art works, and as she's eight you need to help her do that, because one day one of her friends might do well and be able to help her up, that's the way it works, you can't always be the focus yourself.
If it's not something she seriously enjoys and it's all for giggles then find her something else she enjoys and don't tell her friends but she needs to address this aspect of her personality otherwise it'll cause her grief later on. x

[boona]

It is not the best school or teacher, there are many others. The point is that whatever hobby she gets they want to join her. She wants to do something on her own and that is the problem. My question is, is she being mean by wanting to do something separate from her school friends

[kvalidir]

No not mean exactly, a little precious perhaps, but not exactly mean. Perhaps have a word with her dance teacher and explain and see they can arrange different classes for the girls if it's a major problem or alternatively find her something else she enjoys and don't tell the school friends. x

[Mamyalynne]

In the nicest possible way she sounds a little like a diva, now that can be a good thing , but as Kval says above - you have to rub shoulders on the way up, you never know who'll you'll meet on the way down.

A separate hobby she can do on her own away from the dancing is a good idea too.

[boona]

I think a different class may be the answer although the parents won't be happy as they have only joined the school because their girls want to "dance with their friend" not sure how I will explain this nicely to them

[sherrardk]

I’d let them get on with it and tell her (in the gentlest way) to suck it up. Does your daughter have siblings?

[boona]

She is an only child and her friends are too. She has made lots of new friends here. She was terrified at first but has since grown in confidence and is really enjoying it. You have given me advise as I wanted to know if she was being mean.. I guess she is just being a bit of a diva

[anneasquith]

With all due respect boona, I wonder if you are enjoying and encouraging this behaviour ?

[boona]

I just couldn't work out if it was normal behaviour for her to be happy to leave her school friends behind, she was sad to leave the teacher but not the friends. I would of thought that she would have wanted them to come join so I was a bit shocked when she was disappointed they were following her.