I've been feeling awful too JJ. My Grand Da is very ill- we thought he would die for sure over Christmas, but he's just home now and very much better thank God. I've been apart from my partner since I came back in December and missing him terribly and there is a colossal amount of work to do here to get ready for going back. He's not been well himself either and I'm stuck here til later in the month and there is stress all around. I thought 2018 was bad, 1019 is starting off as a blinder. But there is one chink of light perhaps for us on the horizon so fingers crossed that this year could be perhaps the best ever yet, but at the moment it can sod off, not having a nice time x