Its Becoming Scary To Be Old

[nailit]

I posted a couple of weeks ago that my elderly mum has bone cancer.
She was supposed to have carers in, in the morning (not a problem) and at tea time, between 5-7 pm. They have been turning up anywhere between 6-9:30.
The later shift have been told that she is down for a night time call and don't know why she has been put down for it when she has requested a teatime call. (she goes to bed at 7 at the latest). My sister (who is down as her next of kin and carer) has rang 4 times to request a teatime call to help her. In addition I have fitted a key safe outside and most of the carers still ring the bell saying that they have no knowledge of the number, despite the fact that others do and use it.
God, I hope that I don't get old and needy...
Much more to this than that, just hope that I pop it before this charade!
What a joke care in the community is!

[Theland]

So sorry for your Mum and you and your sister Nailit.
Obviously feel impotent regarding help, and can't offer advice other than what has been posted already.
Can only offer my sympathy for you all.
Take care mate.

[tinkerbell23]

Nailit... i dont want to upset you but that was then ..... & this is now.... and right now, if your Mum is in pain that cant be controlled with what she has at home then she should go to hospital.

not taking away from the bad experience you have had already, but in the here & now she shouldnt suffer if the pain is that bad.

Does she have any breakthrough medication may I ask? X

[david small]

What an absolutely shameful disgusting situation. The pathetic non system of this country is appalling. Those that can have to go to Switzerland for a dignified death.
Others are left to rot on the branch of ineptitude, apathy or indifference. The whole of the NHS needs serious reform. Better still scrap the shambles and start again.
Sorry for your family nails, been there three times,it hurts like hell.

[tinkerbell23]

If her pain is worsening it could be a sign of somethingelse which is why I am saying this to you.

Otherwise please do get a Macmillan nurse out.

Im sorry you are having such a rough time. X

[nailit]

Her pain is not worsening, its the same unbearable pain that she was admitted with and sent home with.
And how the hell do we get a McMillan nurse and what can they do. Shes on Morphine already. (despite the fact that she was previously denied it because of her kidney failure)

[Mamyalynne]

Support line is open 8am - 8pm

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/information-and-support/coping/getting-support/talking-to-us

[nailit]

David Small...
What can I say but....yes!
Totally agree with you.

[nailit]

Thank you for the link mamy.

[Mamyalynne]

x

[nailit]

Sorry Theland, missed ur post (head up my ar se)
thanks for that.

[Calicogirl]

There are Fentanyl patches and Oramorph for breakthrough pain Nailit- it might need to be titrated up if she's been on it a while and is tolerant of it and the MacMillan nurses can do all of this for you, plus lots of other things. Please give them a call and a chance to help x

[marval]

This a dreadful situation form your mum, you and your sister.

There is good care out there, but unfortunately you don't seem to have it.

You just need to should loud and make a fuss.

I wish you well, and hope she can get the help she needs.

[tinkerbell23]

Yes call the number or call the GP to put you in touch.

They will adjust her meds. If one type of morhine dosent agree with her due to her kidneys they will prescribe another which may be kinder.

They are specialists in palliative care & its associated symptoms & also have access to /knowlege of different types of painkillers, patches, 24hr syringe drivers if needed. They also can call upon the help of hospice consultants for more complicated cases. X

[tinkerbell23]

Macmillan can also ensure Mum has everything she is entitled to financially. I know this may not be something you think
Of just now but it can also be a worry for people. If she is loosing weight/ washing more clothes / heating house
More/ etc she may be able to have a grant to help.

They can access mobility aids when needed.

Theres carers support
For you & sister too which they can refer on for. X

[EDDIE51]

Why ???Because there is a serious shortage of care workers ,it is NOT well paid and care workers are often not appreciated or even abused by those they care for. Been there got the T shirt !

[tinkerbell23]

Did your Mum have a breast cancer nurse specialist you can call? X

[tinkerbell23]

Got another 3 appointments in the next few weeks...oncology, bone scan, and orthopaedics (and then GP.)


In that order??

I may be assuming here but the bone scan is likely for confirmation of cancer in the bone....

Ortho to see if there are any surgical options for treatment.......

Oncology to see if any medical treatment....

If its a spread from an original breast cancer then again Im assuming (mabye i shouldnt) that this is where the word palliative came into it, that there would be no cure??

Perhaps treatment though!? If its bone pain she has they can radiate to alleviate the pain! X

[nailit]

Sorry, cant keep up with all posts but all much appreciated,
Will make this my last (need to get some Zzzzz's)

Tinker, mum was given the 5 yr all clear from breast cancer last year.
Been confirmed that its definitely bone cancer in the arm...now need to see if its spread elsewhere in the bones. Either way we have been told that she cant have anymore radio or chemo. (because of age and health issues) but still got appointments with oncology, orthopaedics etc.

[tinkerbell23]

Sorry nailit i thought it was 1year.

Anyway.... wishing you well & Mum!

Give Macmillan a chance.

Ill keep an eye to see how you get on! Night night xx

[hereIam]

This is very distressing. How on earth do old people alone in the world with no family, manage ?? It seems the elderly with family still suffer despite sons or daughters doing their best to ensure the elderly parent gets the care he/she deserves. I was lucky with my Mum, her carers were good and actually on occasion did stuff they weren't supposed to do (good stuff) and before we got a key safe, one day when a carer couldn't gain entry, she looked through the window and saw my beloved Mum on the floor, rang me and I went straight round, but I was in the next town and panicked all the way until I got there. I don't know what the answer is about the ones who don't do their job properly, but I wish with all my heart it could be sorted. Getting old is scary enough. Your poor Mum nailit.