Your Opinion Again

[jennyjoan]

Your opinion again please. I have a nephew and niece who live in Scotland. I have never spoken to the nephew in my life and met the niece about 12 years ago. Just got word via sister that they are coming over to Belfast on Sat and want to meet up.

They presumably want to bury my brother's ashes on top of his twin but I am at a loss I don't know where the grave is now as the graveyard is so full up and i don't visit graves per se..

It is St Patrick's day and Belfast goes mad on that day that I gave up going out on St Paddy's day due to the chaotic day.

I don't want to hurt them but I'm not well myself as I am recovering from pretty much major dental surgery from Monday. My cheekbone is black and blue because of the surgery and I cannot understand one word of the Scottish. Sorry to those who are Scots. All I can pick up is "Aye" - that's it.

I haven't a clue what to do.

[jennyjoan]

Andres - we just found out tonight that they are coming on Sat and I wouldn't have a clue re papers etc and my sister wouldn't either. We have lost 4 brothers in 7 years so I'm funeraled out and mentally couldn't deal with it.

Anyway thanks for your opinions - they were appreciated.

[Barmaid]

They wont be turning up to bury your brother's ashes since you cant just rock up and do this - one has to have the grave opened etc.

I would just tell them you are ill - its obvious you do not want to see them. If you can bear it, just tell them to talk slow.

[MallyJ]

Alternatively you could find a friend whose home you could visit for the day (even if your friend is away for the weekend) and tell your sister that you will be away recuperating from surgical procedures on your mouth.......or tell them that and simply don't answer the doorbell

[anneasquith]

Jj, it’s totally understandable when we are ill ,we often do not wish to have visitors or communicate with people, never mind relatives who are strangers. If they wish they can visit you for a short time. Make them tea and cakes :*). Please don’t worry too much about this issue, things work out in the end .

[jennyjoan]

just a goodnight. Barmaid - they aren't opening the grave - they want to scatter the ashes - this is a burial grave of my nephew sisterinlaw, brother then ashes of the first twin (scattered) altho I got a plaque made.

You know I wish I could welcome them with the person I was about 5 years ago.

[Barmaid]

Apologies JJ, but you did say they "presumably want to bury the ashes" on top of his twin. I didnt realise you meant scatter. Even so, you are not meant to just scatter ashes - although who knows if you do that..........

[jennyjoan]

think I'm feeling sorry for myself. dental surgery on Monday when I nearly ripped the bib off of my chest due to pain, Tuesday and today Wednesday dealing with two nails in my gums, black and blue cheek bone and the arrival of the niece and nephew - I am going to try and do my best - whatever it is.

So on top of black and blue cheekbone, two nails in my gums, my head is opening like a fish's mouth. so am off to bed.

thanks for listening Folks

[jennyjoan]

sorry LOL - I repeated myself there. That's ma heid - is that Glaswegian???

[jennyjoan]

Scots are on their way from sister's.

I just found out there about an hour ago. I defrosted home made veggie soup and bacon. Dry fried the bacon and so I have made

Soup and bacon, lettuce and coleslaw sandwiches. Oh I had prepared some chicken and whacked that into the soup. They were supposed to be here now so that's why I am whiling my time here. I can see if a taxi draws up the street.

[jennyjoan]

by the way they didn't bring the ashes - I'll ask when they come.

[anneasquith]

Jj, the lunch for your relatives sounds fabulous, they will love it. Sit back and enjoy their visit. You do know they may not understand your Belfast accent . ;*)

[jennyjoan]

they will understand Anne - their dad was pure Belfast