A Friend's Nightmare Situation

[dunnitall]

Rather complex question but long story short. Friends for 30 years next door-but-one neighbours our age. See them nearly every week for cuppa/chat and asked to family "do's" as we do them. He recently had a stroke and in hospital then home with carers, then had op for gallstones ... home again, then in hospital where he is now because he was unwell.

They have three children in their forties, it transpires at a meeting at the hospital yesterday my friend visiting hubby which she does everyday (doesn't drive) the children turned up and told the hospital bods, my friend had been abusing their father for over 4 yrs!!! (He's ex army, confident, always been the organiser but they always did things together) we cannot even believe any of this.

Apparently the children told hospital before this and Monday they sent the police to friends house to "warn" her about the abuse!!! At the meeting they said what they did and now the hospital believe the children and they won't let the hubby come home. They are going to find a home to put him in!! Apparently due to his intermittent memory loss they cannot rely on any answers he would give them.

Friend in bits, said she might not see him again as don't know where they would put him. The children have demanded the Will and his credit card.... she has refused.

My question is....can the hospital do this without ascertaing proof of the allegations? I have told her to seek a solicitors advice. I have to add a similar thing happened with the family a couple of months ago just after his stroke, they called ambulance to have him taken to hospital and took the back door keys to friends house. They wouldn't give them back to my friend so she had the locks changed.

Sorry for lengthy story but all facts as I've been told them are there, it seems incredulous to us I just had to ask. Thanks in advance for any answers.

[dunnitall]

hc....totally agree with you, however they claim it's been going on for 4 years. So, if they knew 4 years ago why did they let it carry on? Why did they not get social services in when they say they categorically KNEW she had been abusing him?? I mean, would you let something go on and one and not do anything if you knew it was wrong?
Our take on that is, if someone is caring and hating what they KNOW is wrong, how can you leave it to continue.

When the children asked them to go their houses for BBQ or to stay the weekend...rare but it happened, why did they not say anything, why if it was SO wrong to see their father abused....why did they not do something but leave it until now when it could be likely he might die....seems very strange to me. Have they just realised things aren't good for him healthwise and have come up with a "cunning plan"....hmm the mind boggles.

[hc4361]

Emotional abuse can be worse :(

[hc4361]

Maybe they did - and maybe the husband denied it.