I Am Retired

[marval]

I am a retired boxer and I am thinking of taking on golf as a hobby. Although many believe I should go into acting because apparently I am the only dog they know that can talk.

My doctor’s surgery does a drop in session every Friday, 12:00- 2:00 but when I arrived, the doctor looked at me in a funny way. Probably something to do with the parachute on my back.

Definition of the use for a Wok. What you fwo at a Wabbit when you don’t have a Wifle.

I was so disappointed with the kitchen themed gifts my wife gave me last year. She brought me a set of cutlery, biscuit cutters and to put the icing on the cake, a piping bag.

My wife’s choice of family holidays had always caused problems. This year, she has booked us on a railway tour of Germany. It is going from Bad to Wurz.

I went up to my neighbour’s oak tree the other day and asked it how it was doing? The oak just kept on saying “I’m Fine, I’m Fine” over and over again. I guess his tree repeats itself.

Yorkshire demolition experts. Always looking for t’rubble.

My friend said he would give me £100 if I did a bungee jump. I wasn’t falling for that.

I am thinking of hiring a S.W.A.T team to fix my fly problem.

Being a bit of a hypochondriac, i like to stockpile lots of medicines just in case. I’ve got a crate of aspirins for my migraines, a vat of cough syrup for tickly throats and as for ointment, I have got piles.

[Canary42]

Good to see you've returned to safe sex ;-)

[bookbinder]

A good selection there!

[marval]

Thank you Canary

[Patsy33]

Lol...
I'm glad you got lots of ointment. Piles you say? That's swell!...

[Theland]

Throw a Viagra into the washing machine - all the shirts come out ironed!

[Theland]

I bought 4 Viagra for last Friday night. Only two of them worked!

[Aniston]

I'm a retired electrician and I think golf is overrated. I was always itchy to build something so my main hobby is woodwork. Now I have lots of furniture to give to my friends. I also often visit https://mid.bet/ which my granson had shown to me and told how to bet there. Seems like a hobby worth trying.