My Friend

[marval]

My friend, who professionally trained as a tailor, has been made redundant, and has decided to go into comedy. He is not worried though, he says he has got plenty of quality material.

When my satellite dish stopped working, I used a bin lid instead. Now I get nothing but rubbish.

My partner said he is leaving me because of my obsession with Twitter. I just hope I get custody of our kids ‘At’ and ‘Hashtag’

Being a one man orchestra can be quite nerve-racking. I just have to compose myself.

A Limbo dancer married a Locksmith yesterday, the wedding was low key.

I work in B&Q and this guy came in shouting and swearing about needing something to fill a big hole in his wall. Needless to say, I showed him the door.

I am not a big fan of change. I would rather have a tenner, to be honest.

I bought an off-road vehicle in a blind auction. Got it delivered, it was a canoe.

I started a campaign to raise money to save exotic birds from extinction and stood outside Tesco’s rattling toucans to help macaws.

I missed my weight watchers meeting. I had too much on my plate.

[Patsy33]

Brilliant ones there, Marval! Lol...

[retrocop]

Yup. Had a good hoot as well. Thanks.

[tonyav]

LOL, some crackers there.