Wedding Etiquette - No 2

[Barmaid]

There's only going to be one speech and that is mine. Mr BM isnt really happy at the idea of public speaking so it will be my job to thank everyone, crack a few jokes, say how lovely the bridesmaids look (there is no best man either and my father will absolutely NOT speak).

Two questions:-

a) We have a fair complement of infirm guests and those of advanced years. There will also be a lot of guests in the advanced stages of inebriation and also a fair few who simply cant get up without injuring themselves. Do you think that if I say at the outset that I would prefer guests to remain seated for the toasts (there will only be three - to absent friends, the bridesmaids and my new husband) that this is OK? It's not an event where we are sticking to the rules. I reckon as the bride I can make my own rules. But would this just be awful? I just dont want elderly people trying to get up and if they cant feeling an "odd one out".

b) Any jokes I can play on my new husband? I am thinking of asking the ladies present to return their keys now he is a married man............

[Barmaid]

I'm OK with it. At least I have notice this time. At my first wedding the bloody groom said "I cant do this" 30 seconds before his speech!!!!!!!!!!!

I get that public speaking ties people up in knots. I'd much rather he say and me be able to deal with it sensibly than wind himself up and then bottle it. Anyway, our relationship is based on "we both do the things we are best at; we both try at the things we are not good at, but defer to the other". This is why I cook and he does DIY. Otherwise we'd both die of food poisoning and live in a condemned building.

[B00]

"welcoming all the Lancashire people and asking them if they were getting used to electricity and the indoor toilets. "

Oi!!!


As for asking the guests to remain seated while you do the speeches, I think that's perfectly acceptable. It's your day (and the groom's too I guess!), if you want 'em to do the conga while you do your 'bit', if you ask 'em they should comply. In fact do that instead.

........wanders off glaring at Zaks...........

[shoota]

AH giving a speech?
I'd be next door watching the football....

[Zacs-Master]

Yeah, broke the ice, Boo. ;-)

[andy-hughes]

Zacs - // Andy. I’m joking. For gawd sake man lighten up. //

Maybe you can add a LOL into your posts - how else am I supposed to know you are being humorous?

[andy-hughes]

shoota - // AH giving a speech?
I'd be next door watching the football.... //

How very wounding!

I'll have you know that my speeches are the stuff of legend!!!!!

[Zacs-Master]

LOL.




Ok?

[shoota]

I hate football...

[TonyV]

Zac don't think barmaid was even born in 1919, let alone an idea in her fathers eye lol

[andy-hughes]

shoota - // I hate football... //

Please excuse me while I adjourn to compose myself after a short weep ...

[woofgang]

BM someone should come up to the table with a key, look at the key go "oh sorry wrong one" and hand the key to you.

[Barmaid]

Lol, Woof. I might set that up too! I've enough smutty friends.

[gness]

This is going to be a wonderful wedding! Guests sit through the speeches and are asked to stand for the toast.......ask them to remain seated for the toast as you can't guarantee that the groom's legs will hold him up long enough to raise a glass.....
Just love the idea of keys and handcuffs.......that'll be a great wedding memory.......don't suppose you have a friend who can wheel in a baby trained to shout...Daddy!.....on cue?
Your day does coincide with an important sporting event but sadly it won't be televised in the UK......I have entered Dave in the wife carrying competition.......I just need to find a wife to carry him now..... ;-)

Have the most wonderful day...Gx

[anneasquith]

Absolutely have everyone stay seated at the toasts, you may have to shout though . Re mr. B. When you finish your speech tell the guests that the new husband would like to say a few words .

[ummmm]

Was that a little dig at me BM :-) lol. I will have you know I've stood up loads of times today....

[Eve]

I think it's a lovely and thoughtful idea about remaining seated. I'm not old but am a bit knackered so I'd definitely appreciate being able to stay seated at a wedding. Especially where things like mobility aides are involved...I'd be glad of less opportunity to cause havoc :)

Depending on the layout of the reception I think it can make it easier for people to see what's happening too than with everyone stood up...especially coming from a short ***.

Maybe you could link in a joke about how you've already got him tied up (insert any additional smut as appropriate...) to the ball and chain so only fair that everyone else stays seated, something like that.

[Calicogirl]

I think it's a lovely idea to suggest people can remain seated, I'm sure it's much appreciated by the elderly, people who are stiff and sore and the immobile, as well as those who just aren't into multiple bobbing up and downs, and the more smut the better imho, it sounds like it'll be a riot x

[Eve]

Maybe the ball and chain can be a wedding gift...you could always keep the key stashed in your wedding garter! Or refer to having the key later on, after all the other keys have been presented, by which point you've got a load of them, in the bowl (or wherever they are).

[mallyh]

love the keys and handcuff idea ,when I got married many moons ago to my sailor my uncle gave me a chastity belt with ...when a sailors on a ship it's clunk click every trip lol

[pixie374]

It sounds like you'll have a great time :-). Maybe somebody can bring something else random up... like a bicycle pump.... and dump it there.