I Tried

marval | 17:37 Mon 03rd Jun 2019 | Jokes

2 Answers

I tried to become a professional fisherman but I soon realised I would never be able to survive off my net income.

I spent last night in a cell. I dreamt I was a spreadsheet.

I got off the phone to my friend and it said “your balance is low”. I didn’t believe it, and carried on walking. And fell over.

I saw a fit bird on the beach yesterday. It nicked one of my chips and flew off before I knew it.

A man walked into a bar, and all the customers patted him on the backside. “What sort of place is this,” he yelled at the barman. ” A tapas bar.”

Vanish have just brought out a new product called Ground Remover. The results are flawless.

My mum has got this weird fetish for sleeping with boxing gloves. Her doctor thinks it is the menopause setting in, but I just think she is going through a rocky patch.

I am really good at drawing ninjas. I am a very talented martial artist.

Breaking news, a man is in hospital after falling into a vat of expensive liquor He was said to be in good spirits.

I do backing vocals, it is me who says, “This vehicle is reversing”.