I Need Somebody To Translate This As Best As Possible.

[Nate_Trinity]

So, I was playing a game I rather like, and I found a text in another tongue in which I couldn't read. It reads as follows:

Oi, bom dia ou tarde ou noite ou o que seja por aqui. De qualquer jeito, eu tô meio sem ideias pra por outro texto por aqui e entấo vou por qualwuer porcaria aqui. Epidemia de danças indiges tas, Porcas, Guaranás e Bomba de boi e só médio ruiva. Apresentei a pistola. Escrevi por que quero tonto Ihe afanar as minhas três Teresas. Para príncipe da condessa, eu tenho que pegar teu bruto...cebolas alhos, e em sua beca sorris a usar dentes... e por isso quero Ihe dezer, que me agrada minto.
-2 kg de retalho c/ osso
-2 pernas de frango
-2 pés de porco
-1 kg de língua

Gatos são legais.
E a propósito,
como vai você?

I believe it's Portuguese but I'm not sure. It would be appreciated if somebody were to translate this. Please and thank you. (P.s the game from which this text originated was 'Continue Stop Rise', a fan made sequel to the game 'OFF' by Mortis Ghost. If you haven't already played these games, I highly suggest you play them.)

[JimF]

It is indeed Portuguese and the first sentence says "Hey, good day or afternoon or night or whatever."

[scorpiojo]

Courtesy of Google translate..

Hi, good day or afternoon or evening or whatever. Anyway, I'm kind of out of ideas for other text here and then I'm going for whatever crap here. Epidemic of indigestive dances, Nuts, Guaraná and Ox pump and only medium red. I presented the pistol. I wrote because I want to fool myself to drive my three Teresas. For prince of the countess, I have to take your brute ... garlic onions, and in your smile beckon to use teeth ... and so I want to deer, which pleases me lie. -2 kg of bone-in flap -2 chicken legs -2 feet of pork -1 kg tongue Cats are cool. And by the way, how are you

[JimF]

"Epidemic of indigestive dances, Nuts, Guaraná and Ox pump and only medium red. I presented the pistol."

Well, that makes perfect sense, doesn't it! I say that at least once a day.

Seriously? Google translate?

[scorpiojo]

Seriously, Jim.

[ToraToraTora]

sounds like PP's Portuguese cousin.

[THECORBYLOON]

It'll be to-morrow morning's spam.

[Peter Pedant]

// sounds like PP's Portuguese cousin.//

fu ! certo [ scrive ditto cugina portogues]

the last bit is a butchers list innit - I kg ox tongue .... mushroom ( theboy-ass menioned a line above)

[harbaoui]

Well, that makes perfect sense, doesn't it! I say that at least once a day - https://www.besthdporn.me.