Terrible Problem.

[Theland]

Two of my five sons never spoke for about a year, but made up in June. Now fell out again, so bitter and insulting. My wife and I have been dragged in to the argument.
My Christian beliefs give me solace but most upset, especially Mrs T the love of my life. Just rambling really.

[Mamyalynne]

Hard though it is just tell them both how much it saddens you then leave them to sort it out.

[Mozz71]

They're grown adults TL. Tell them that you'll play no part in their theatrics and make sure they are well aware of how badly it's affecting Mrs Land. If they care, they'll calm down for her sake.

[wolf63]

There's nothing that you can do - you already know that. :-(

I only have one brother and I love and like him very much. We are very different but our core values are the same. I can't begin to imagine how hard it is to look on from the side lines but they are adults ...

[NellieMay]

Are they living in your home?

[albaqwerty]

Unfortunately, just because they are brothers doesn't mean they have to get on or like each other.

If you can't talk to them, write each a letter saying you and Mrs T are saddened by their behaviour but dragging you and her into their spat is both hurtful and disrespectful.

[Theland]

One married three children.
One live alone, disabled.

[Theland]

Alba - yes so hurtful

[marval]

Am sorry to hear this, I agree with letting them know how sad it makes you both. Only they can sort it out, I hope they do so for everyone.

[NellieMay]

Leave them to it. There is nothing you can do. Don't give either of them advice or discuss their problems with them. Tell them they are upsetting their mother who loves them both and although they are both welcome in your home you don't want to get involved. Your wife is your priority no.w

[Theland]

So sad. Going to bed now.
Thanks to you all.

[andy-hughes]

My wife and I made it a firm rule never to interfere in our children's arguments when they were small - they would learn to sort it out for themselves.

That goes double for them now that they are all grown women with homes and families of their own.

They are adults, you have to let them behave like adults, even though that may not always seem to be the case.

Nothing good will come from parental interference. If they come to you to discuss it, then do so, but on no account take sides.

I hope you get a resolution soon - clearly your God has some plan under which you are made to suffer.

[Mozz71]

//I hope you get a resolution soon - clearly your God has some plan under which you are made to suffer.//

Low blow Andy, not remotely called for.

[Peter Pedant]

// Two of my five sons never spoke for about a year,//
you mean didnt speak to you - innit?

if for example, it is a teenager who didnt speak at all for a year the answer is very different

I think since there is form
you should drag yourself out of the argument
you wont do any good joining in and staying out will make you feel better

[pixie374]

Hopefully, theland, they will sort it out again soon for themselves. I think that's a good idea from Alba about writing to them both, but be careful not to take sides- assume they will show each other the letters. You can only tell them it upsets you and your wife, really and ask them to do their best to sort it out. But it really is up to them, and sad though it is, they may just not get on. Don't get into a position where you end up only in contact with one of them though, they need to work it out themselves, if they are going to.

[pixie374]

PP, I thought he meant they didn't speak to each other?

[Peter Pedant]

// PP, I thought he meant they didn't speak to each other?// pixo

o god I am going to butt out of this myself .....
yeah probably pixo

[pixie374]

No need! That's just how I read it x

[Baldric]

They are adults, just let them get on with it.

[nailit]

Humans are funny like that. Unfortunately its not confined to squabbling sibblings.
I didn't speak to one of my nieces for over 12 yrs. Started off on a good footing again and went to pot again. Recently started talking again...Got an invitation to upcoming wedding.
Same with others. Didn't speak to my sister and BiL for a year or two.
Recently started talking to my sister again although her partner remains a total nob in my eyes and wouldn't want have anything to do with him even if he was dying...the mans a total pr ck and glad to have him out of my life after all the carp ive had of him in the past.
Another niece remains out of my life because she absolutely destroyed her ex who happens to be a really good bloke and family man.

Always hard on parents tho….that I can agree with!

Family aint always