More Laughter

marval | 17:06 Tue 10th Sep 2019 | Jokes

3 Answers

70 year old Mrs Jones went to the doctor for her annual check-up.
He told her that she needed more activity and recommended sex three times a week. She said to the doctor "Please tell my husband."
The doctor went out to the waiting room and told Mr Jones that his wife needed sex three times a week. Her eighty year old husband replied "Which days?"

"How about Monday, Wednesday and Friday?" the doctor said.

"I can bring her in on Monday and Wednesday", the husband said, "But on Friday she will have to take the bus."

A jockey is walking down the road leading a racehorse when he bumps into a friend.
“What are you planning to do with that nag?” the man asks.
“Race it,” replies the jockey, surprised.
“Well, by the look of it,” the man says, “You’ll win!”

My friend is a huge fan of the Supremes, for her 60th I bought her a Diana Ross necklace. After wearing it for a few days her neck started to go a green colour.
I think it could be a chain reaction.

Psychic buying clothes.
Employee: How about this one?
Psychic: That shirt is too small
Employee: You didn't even try it on
Psychic: I'm a medium.

Paddy and his girlfriend were on the sofa having a smooch.
His girlfriend says “shall we take this upstairs?"
Paddy answered, "you get one end and I'll get the other."

I told my friend the other day that he shouldn't be using a plastic straw.
"I know, I know" he said. "It's supposed to be terrible for the environment."
"Sure, there's that," I replied "but it's also a really weird way to eat spaghetti."