Crosswords0 min ago
Idiot Criminals
Two teenagers caught breaking into a car scaled a fence to get away – without realising there was a prison on the other side. One police officer said: "People don’t break into prison every day, let alone the notorious San Quentin penitentiary." The prison is California’s oldest jail, with the state’s only gas chamber - although the pair didn't meet their maker as a direct consequence of their actions in this case.
A would-be thief claimed he paid a ‘wizard’ for spells to make him invisible while he robbed a bank. He was quickly overpowered by customers in the Iranian bank when he started snatching cash from their hands. He told a court he had paid the equivalent of hundreds of pounds to the ‘wizard’ for the invisibility spells, but had since realised he had been duped.
A glue-sniffer found himself in a sticky situation after getting his high direct from a large vat of gloop in a glue factory. The addict accidentally knocked the tank over as the fumes overwhelmed him. When he woke up, he found himself stuck fast to the floor. Unable to move he was eventually found by workers who called the fire brigade to free him.
A man charged with stealing a car should perhaps have engaged his brain before his mouth when he admitted to a crime before making a plea. When asked by the judge if he pleaded guilty or not guilty, he responded with: "Let me explain why I stole the car." While the man’s lawyer sank into his seat, the judge made an unsurprisingly quick ruling and moved on.
A thief was caught out after attempting to pay for a beer with the stolen credit card of the bartender who was serving him. Earlier the drinker had broken into a car in New York and made off with a wallet containing the card. Following the theft he decided to treat himself to a drink at a nearby bar. Imagine the bartender’s surprise when his customer handed over the credit card bearing his name. He called the police and the thief was arrested.
Police in Mexico City asked each man in a line-up of robbery suspects to repeat the words “Give me your money or I’ll shoot you.” They were astonished when the first man protested: "But that’s not what I said." Job done!
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A would-be thief claimed he paid a ‘wizard’ for spells to make him invisible while he robbed a bank. He was quickly overpowered by customers in the Iranian bank when he started snatching cash from their hands. He told a court he had paid the equivalent of hundreds of pounds to the ‘wizard’ for the invisibility spells, but had since realised he had been duped.
A glue-sniffer found himself in a sticky situation after getting his high direct from a large vat of gloop in a glue factory. The addict accidentally knocked the tank over as the fumes overwhelmed him. When he woke up, he found himself stuck fast to the floor. Unable to move he was eventually found by workers who called the fire brigade to free him.
A man charged with stealing a car should perhaps have engaged his brain before his mouth when he admitted to a crime before making a plea. When asked by the judge if he pleaded guilty or not guilty, he responded with: "Let me explain why I stole the car." While the man’s lawyer sank into his seat, the judge made an unsurprisingly quick ruling and moved on.
A thief was caught out after attempting to pay for a beer with the stolen credit card of the bartender who was serving him. Earlier the drinker had broken into a car in New York and made off with a wallet containing the card. Following the theft he decided to treat himself to a drink at a nearby bar. Imagine the bartender’s surprise when his customer handed over the credit card bearing his name. He called the police and the thief was arrested.
Police in Mexico City asked each man in a line-up of robbery suspects to repeat the words “Give me your money or I’ll shoot you.” They were astonished when the first man protested: "But that’s not what I said." Job done!
https:/
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