abortion

[chic21998]

delicate subject but i want to know if theres people who have had an abortion and felt bad because they didnt actually feel bad.

(NO ABUSE PLS)

[Kialouanne]

Having an abortion for me personally was the biggest mistake of my life and something I will live with the consequences for various reasons every day of my life.

However, my friend had an abortion and claims to have feel nothing but relief – she has no regrets and its something that she has put to the back of her mind and does not have any emotion for. Its not up to me to judge anyone on how they feel emotionally – everybody deals with things in different ways.

[Neenee]

i actually asked myself this question the other day....

people have abortions for all sorts of reasons that only matter to them and their circumstances.

you have to consider the whole situation... everyone is diferrent and decide to do it for all sorts of reasons. Its never an easy decision and something that will stay with you forever. Its not bad to not actually feel bad.... you cant change anything once its happened, so your better of ftrying to put it at the back of your mind and get on with life, rather than dwell on it going forward.

its something that will never go away and that you willforget about, but you have to remember that you made that decision for what wa right at that time of your life.... thats the only way i try and see it.

[crete]

chic , this is very emmotive subject , my response is for me to remain non_judgemental.

[warpig1]

Kualouanne, I felt and do feel exactly the same as you even after 12 years. But everyone reacts differently and it can depend on the circumstances for having an abortion. It is a very deep and personal decision to be made and no one can know how they are going to react until after the event unfortunately. Even if you feel that it is the best thing for you this does not necessarily mean that you will not feel guilty after the event.

[fee-is-me]

My sister has had 2 (for different reasons.)

She feels bad about having one and feels bad about not feeling bad about having the other.

So for her, it is more about the circs than the 'act' itself.

[lady_p_gold]

We were having a talk about this the other day, there were a large group of mature women and it turned out that well over half had had an abortion, and there were many that said they had no regrets at all and never even gave it a thought. I think that it depends on the reasons. If it is a wanted baby but you have to do it because of pressure or other reasons then you might have lots of regrets. However if you really really do not want a baby for whatever reason then I think it could be a relief and that you might just forget about it, and as some pointed out if it is early then it is not much different than stopping a fertilised egg from lodging in the womb by means of contraception ... but I realise that not everyone could think of it like that and would think of it as a 'life' from conception. Just depends on your outlook I suppose.

[beejaybee]

It`s still with me over 30 years later.

[Pippa68]

I had one 11 years ago. I remember the month, but not the day. I felt relief, and a tinge of sadness. I was weepy for a few days but deep down I didn't feel bad about it...it's difficult to explain, but I was more sad that I had got myself into this position in the first place, not because of the abortion itself.

I did feel guilty, mainly because it seemed more taboo in my case as I had already had children (and have had children since). I did what was not only right for me, but right for my children and my cirumstances at the time.

Whether it is the right decision or not, everyone feels differently when they go through an abortion ~ there is no right or wrong way to feel. The one thing I found odd was that I was on a ward with other women going through the same thing, and the doctor was going through the younger ones giving them advice on contraception, how they may feel afterwards etc etc. When he got to me, I was asked to sign the consent form and he went away.

[Amber1571]

I had one four weeks ago. Regret it ever since.

[warpig1]

Amber sorry to hear that but you will see for the above that you are not alone. Unfortunately I can offer you no real advice of comfort except to say that with the passage of time it will lessen. I hope you will be ok and dont forget that there are people and organisations to talk to if you feel the need. I had counselling a year after mine and I did find it beneficial at the time but when I removed myself from the support network the feelings returned.

Take care of yourself and if you ever need to talk there are plenty of women on here who are only to willing to listen.

Take care :-0)

Warpig1XXX

[andy-hughes]

As a man I cannot comment from experience, but I would suggest that such a life-changing experience must be different for everyone.

Part of the difficulty in dealing with this circumstance is the 'perceived' approach, in other words, the way society as whole expects you to react and behave, and this psychological pressure can simply add to the difficulties involved in assimilating events into your life.

I think that anyone dealing with a circumstance in which society has behavioural codes - espcially in matters such as abortion, divorice, bereavement, and similar, should do their best to respond to their own feelings honestly, and make every effort to avoid feeling guilty or inadequate for not havng a series or reactions which have been dicated by time and social custom, and are the result of opinions of strangers.

Discuss the issues and feelings with those close to you whom you can be assured have no reason to enfore their own, or society's views onto you, but wil let you reach your own way of dealing with your life's changes.