Sadness

[maggiebee]

My brother's body was found at his home on Wednesday, police alerted by a friend. My nephew and niece came to tell me. No details as yet but they think he may have died at the weekend. Too long a story to tell, but I hadn't seen him for 19 years and neither had any of his family. This was his choice. I can't stop the tears - no matter what has happened in the past, no one should die alone.

[ummmm]

Maggie - and remember, just because he was on his own doesn't mean he was unhappy.

[albaqwerty]

Sincere condolences Maggie ((hugs)) xx

[marval]

I am so sorry to hear this Maggie, such a shame he chose to be alone.

Whatever happened he was your brother, and it is only natural for you to cry.

My thoughts and prayers are with you at this sad time. xx

[Toorak]

So sorry to hear this - wishing you comfort at this very difficult time x

[Cloverjo]

Very sorry, maggie.

[emmie]

i am so sorry to read this, i have a brother who is in the same position, we haven't seen him for years, because
he doesn't want to know us.
take care and know that we are all thinking of you
at this difficult time.

[Smowball]

Oh god am so so sorry xx

[Ken4155]

Sad to hear, Maggie. Must be like losing him twice over. As others have said, his choice and no reason for you to question yourself. If your nephew and niece are doing the same, try and give them comfort. It will ease your pain.

[rowanwitch]

It sounds like he had the death that matched how he chose to live, while it saddens you and that is only as it should be there is a rightness there too. I have seen many times patients manipulate family to leave them saying they are ok, or waiting til they have to go to the loo, then when they are alone they seem able to let go. Dying alone seems a common choice. Don't be sad that he died alone, in the end no matter who is there we pass over without anyone with us.

[Old_Geezer]

Very sorry to hear.
Hope the shock passes as soon as possible.

[Butterbun]

Sorry to hear Maggie, my condolences.x

[elliemay1]

So sorry to hear that maggiebee x

[lady-janine]

So sorry to read this Maggie. How very sad for you. Please accept my best wishes and condolences to you. I hope he is at peace now. RIP poor soul.

[Peter Pedant]

I am very sorry to hear this
a sad story

I hope he has found peace

[BeingofLight]

Maggiebee, this isn't really an answer, but, this is exactly what I needed to read. You see, I've been agonizing over something similar to this. My mother has been an active alcoholic my whole life. When I was a young child she wasnt that bad. But after my sister was killed in a hunting accident in 1995 she has become a mean, bitter woman. Her own siblings that are still alive want nothing to do with her. While drunk, many times over the years, she has said alot of mean and hurtful things to me, letting me know that I will never measure up to her standards. She would tell me things like "God took my good daugher" and even saying she wished it was me in the ground instead of my sister. And many other similar statements. It tore my heart out to hear these things from my own mother. In an effort of self preservation, I stopped talking to her several years ago. She has no friends there, preferring to bask in her misery alone. My oldest daughter talks to her regularly on the phone. She is 78 years old, still drinking, and has just found out she has esophageal cancer. I am her only surviving child now. My stepdad and my Dad have both passed. I have been agonizing over should I move back to Louisiana(I've lived in Phoenix since 1991)to take care of her when and if she gets really sick and is at the end of her life? Do I open myself up to the emotional abuse that took years to heal the pain she has inflicked on my heart? I've prayed about this and I've asked my Angels for guidance. I think your question has answered that for me. You are absolutely right! No nobody deserves to die alone. I love my mother, even if I don't like her. She is my mother. I will show her that even if she doesn't, I have the capacity for unconditional love. I have the capacity to forgive. I should take care of my mother like an only child should in her twilight days. Because that is what I would want for myself. "Do unto others..... Thank you so much for reminding me that there are some things bigger than our own pain sometimes. Maybe my kindness and compassion for her will help to heal her own pain from her losses. Today you have reminded me to be a better person. Thank you from the bottom of my Heart! I send you much Love and Light!

[Mamyalynne]

Take care BeingofLight x

[pixie374]

I am so sorry, Maggie xx there are no hard and fast rules though. Many people prefer to die alone, and actually make sure they do. Not everyone wants company. So, I hope it was the right thing for him xx

And beingoflight, whatever you decide, don't take it personally. That sounds much more like addiction and illness than a genuine feeling. Carry on with whatever you feel you can manage, or get some people in to help. But, she is struggling and hard though it is, to take a step back and just see it as "illness", that really looks like the case here. Best wishes xx

[Peter Pedant]

// She would tell me things like "God took my good daugher" and even saying she wished it was me in the ground instead of my sister. And many other similar statements.//

I had a very good friend where the favoured son was taken 'instead of him' - I admired the way he took it as not his problem

eventually the parents coped with it