This From The Daily Squat;

[Ken4155]

The Nation's burglars are demanding a government bailout, claiming that their job has become impossible due to the outbreak of COVID19. With the virus forcing many people to work from home and self isolate, burgling opportunities are hard to come by.
"It's incredibly difficult to burgle a house when the entire family is there. I've gone from being able to burgle a house every couple of days to not being able to find any opportunities at all.
"It's time for the government to step in and give us burglars a bail out. Most of us burglars won't be able to survive without one," professional burglar Nick Ditt told us.
The government will meet to discuss the possibility of bailing out burglars, although it is believed they are low down on the priority list. A government spokesman told us, "We have other robbing bar stewards like banks, insurance companies and casinos to consider first."

[aelmpvw]

said burglars will probably sue for compensation if they contract the virus in a victim's house ...

[Patsy33]

Lol...

[Lie-in King]

:-)

[Rosie29]

Love it Ken - cheers.

[marval]

Oh dear oh dear.