Is Ab/Cb The Best Place To Get Help?

[Bobbisox1]

Oor very good friend passed away last Friday morning, he was the one in the partnership that did most stuff, she has no idea about computers ,mobiles Or anything really, I've been there every day since early Friday and dealt on her behalf with the undertaker ,the Registrar,his private pension and shares,Virgin Media ,The list is endless And I don't mind doing it but I thought I might take a break today but I've had 5 phone calls all before 12 noon, in one she was hysterical saying a man was going to 'block' her from using the computer , she can't use one anyway and explained as gently as I could that this was a 'cold call' to put the phone down, I said I'd get VM to shield her phone but she doesn't know what to do then, this is not the time to tell her she'd have to deal with stuff but I'm there for her,she won't ,I really fear for her future, she's 78
Sorry but I just need to offload to people who don't know her or me

[pixie374]

You're welcome x sorry I can't be more helpful... things may become clearer with a little more time.

[Bobbisox1]

I think she'd panic if it was turned off woof, she went into that mode today, she didn't hear it but saw the light indicating a message blinking, she press every button on the cradle and must have deleted whoever it was

[Bobbisox1]

I'm sure they wii, it's very early days, funeral is a week Thursday , we will get her over that first

[lady-janine]

Bobbi what an awful situation you are now in. You will just have to continue to try to cope a bit more by herself. That is going to be very difficult as far as I can see. My sil was pretty much the same and just refused to do anything for herself relying totally on her brother and me. Made very hard work of it until we managed to persuade her to go into a home. Then she was difficult as she refused to get out of bed or feed herself most of the time and certainly would not join in with any of the activities arranged by staff or volunteers. Made all the more difficult as she still had all her faculties (hearing, eyesight, speech, ability to walk, etc.). Nothing wrong with her except being bloody-minded saying other people were there to look after her.
Maybe your friend is of the same mind set. So i do feel for you but can see it getting to be a great burden for you. You need the help of others to deal with this. I know you are a very kind person but eventually the situation will take over your life so please be careful.
Hope you don't mind me saying this. Just thinking of you.

[Jackdaw33]

In a way I sympathise with your SIL. I have only been once in a nursing home, that only because I wasn't allowed to walk and lived on my own. The general approach of the staff was to address you in baby talk. It didn't take too long for me replying in non-baby talk for them to get the message. Their favourite morning greeting was, "I'll just switch your telly on." My reply was, "Not unless you want to go flying out of the window after it."

[lady-janine]

No baby talk as far as I know Jackdaw and certainly not whenever we visited. She was like this in her own home and refused to get out of bed until her care arrived. Also refused to prepare any food for herself relied on nearby deli and us and care worker. Think she thought she had reached her three score and ten and now she wanted everything done for her. There were other things she had said and done that emphasised this.

[iluvmargie]

Oh God, I hope I never end up in one of those dreadful places.