Too much too soon?

[bowannabow]

My boyfriend of a month split with his wife towards the end of last year. I have n't got a problem with this in principle but I am worried that it is too soon for him. He is quite full on about me and him and wants to continue our relationship when he moves up north soon (something that was planned before we met, to make a new start!).

I am afraid of getting hurt, though I do feel strongly about him.

[4getmenot]

Then if you feel that strongly about him go for it.

[redcrx]

Ive been in a similar situation twice.
The first relationship was doomed as the guy appeared to be using me to get back at his wife. He invited me to stay when his kids were there knowing they would go and tell their mum. She arrived and threatened me and then started to spy on me and my life. She then told him i was stalking her and he believed her.

I met my current boyfriend online in feb 2004, his wife had walked out the xmas before and he just wanted a friend. We chatted until the July before meeting and it was only then he decided he wanted a relationship. By october we were expecting a baby and out son was born July 2005. We had some hassles from his ex but we got through it.

I just want to point out that every situation is different. As long as you are both open and honest about how you feel and what you want then no-one can get hurt. If your boyfriend wants to continue with a long distance relationship then give it a go.

I hope you find happiness like i did.

[WendyS]

I am always rather wary of one relationship starting too soon after another one, especially if that relationship was cemented in the commitment of marriage. However well balanced individuals are I suspect they always carry some emotional baggage with them from the earlier relationship and I think it does need some time to think through the issues that caused the split and work out in your own mind how you can prevent repeating mistakes of the past. I also think it's important to rediscover yourself as a single individual and simply have some "thinking time" before getting emotionally wrapped up with another person. Possibly 8 months is long enough for your boyfriend to have gone through this process if he's a well adjusted individual but I would want to be certain that it's not just a case of "Off with old, on with the new" simply because he doesn't like being on his own and feels he has to have a human attachment to support him in his new life and environment. By all means keep up the friendship, but if you're worried about being hurt, take more time to get to know him, even through a long distance relationship, to be sure that you really are suitable for each other and he's not just using you as an emotional safety net.