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Nice Guys Finish Last!
15 Answers
So you meet a woman right, there's OBVIOUS attraction on both sides, she gives you her
phone number without you asking for it, you swap e-mail addresses...you spend the next
however long texting, chatting, instant messaging etc etc. She says that you are handsome,
talented, sweet...that she really likes you, that she has dreamt about you, sometimes even
fantasises about you! ;-) She calls you up and says that you have to meet up again, you go
along with it but it gets cancelled at the last minute because of outside events. She even
gets a bit jealous at the thought of you being close to another woman...
phone number without you asking for it, you swap e-mail addresses...you spend the next
however long texting, chatting, instant messaging etc etc. She says that you are handsome,
talented, sweet...that she really likes you, that she has dreamt about you, sometimes even
fantasises about you! ;-) She calls you up and says that you have to meet up again, you go
along with it but it gets cancelled at the last minute because of outside events. She even
gets a bit jealous at the thought of you being close to another woman...
Answers
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You give in and admit to her that yes, she really does it for you...You continue to discuss plans for the next meetup but then she confesses that she had met another guy before she met you (lives a LOT closer to her than you do) that he's nice too and she has seen him a couple of times but doesn't know if anything will come of it, he wants to take things slowly but she doesn't know if that means he's keeping his options open. You suggest that if you are really into someone then you cannot get enough of them, surely that makes sense? Things continue pretty much as before, maybe slightly less frequent contact...there's still massive attraction between you both! There's definately a lot more contact between you two than her and this other guy! You have spent entire evenings chatting, something which she has not done with this other guy.
She invites you to see the Rolling Stones with her at Twickenham (couple of days ago) but you can't go due to other commitments, you resist the urge to text or call her over the weekend...yesterday you speak to her and everything seems fine. A few hours later she says that what you have has to stop. That for the time being she has to at least try with this other guy because she met him first. That she's really sorry, that you're handsome, talented, sexy and all that other stuff she said before but it's not fair on the other guy to continue what you have and until she knows what's happening with him, she has to stop things with you to make her feel better. You can understand that right? She says she doesn't want to sever all contact with you keeping HER options open)
So you say your goodbyes and straight away she is wondering why you aren't so talkative anymore!! Asks if you're alright? You give short sharp answers, no chit chat, don't want to encourage something other than basic friendship right? You go out for the evening to try and forget about her, you come back and she's left a couple of messages for you "just logged in to see if you were about and wanted to say goodnight, so goodnight, sleep well and speak soon xx"
So now what? Do you just wait? There's no way you're gonna try and push the action right? Is she just playing female mind games? Is she waiting for you to contact her? Is she sitting at her desk now resisting the urge to email you or is she happy with her decision, is she really hoping deep down that you do contact her? Should you include her in funny email forwardings? Does ignoring women really work, or should you be more upfront? Are women really more attracted to as*holes than nice guys? Do nice guys really finish last?
Wow! That's a lot for me to get my head round in one lunch time.
Right, nice guys don't always finish last and women aren't always attracted to muppets but sometimes nice guys aren't as pushy as the louder bad boy and women can get confused... I dare say it works the same for men. That's my first answer.
As far as your situation is concerned I'm seening a lot of texting, emailing, MSNing etc but no actual talking? Is this a fair assumption? (If not I apologise) I would say that it's time for an actual conversation, preferably in person (much better for judging reactions) or on the phone. Arrange to meet up or have a call, make clear this is not a date. You need to ask all the questions you've just asked to her as any answer I and any other ABer gives will be on presumptions and possibilities, she needs to tell you what's going on.
That said, if she won't meet up or even discuss this properly with you then I would give her a wide birth. My opinion would be she's keeping both options open because she is confused and if that is the case then it's best she has time to work stuff out in her own head on her own before she even attempts to see either of you. But as I said previously, that is only an opinion, you need to speak to her and throw all these questions at her.
Good luck xx
Right, nice guys don't always finish last and women aren't always attracted to muppets but sometimes nice guys aren't as pushy as the louder bad boy and women can get confused... I dare say it works the same for men. That's my first answer.
As far as your situation is concerned I'm seening a lot of texting, emailing, MSNing etc but no actual talking? Is this a fair assumption? (If not I apologise) I would say that it's time for an actual conversation, preferably in person (much better for judging reactions) or on the phone. Arrange to meet up or have a call, make clear this is not a date. You need to ask all the questions you've just asked to her as any answer I and any other ABer gives will be on presumptions and possibilities, she needs to tell you what's going on.
That said, if she won't meet up or even discuss this properly with you then I would give her a wide birth. My opinion would be she's keeping both options open because she is confused and if that is the case then it's best she has time to work stuff out in her own head on her own before she even attempts to see either of you. But as I said previously, that is only an opinion, you need to speak to her and throw all these questions at her.
Good luck xx
Wow! That's a lot for me to get my head round in one lunch time.
Right, nice guys don't always finish last and women aren't always attracted to muppets but sometimes nice guys aren't as pushy as the louder bad boy and women can get confused... I dare say it works the same for men. That's my first answer.
Right, nice guys don't always finish last and women aren't always attracted to muppets but sometimes nice guys aren't as pushy as the louder bad boy and women can get confused... I dare say it works the same for men. That's my first answer.
well, you have two options.
1) If you really like her and don't want to let her go you could send an email telling her how you feel... It doesn't have to be complicated just a few lines to express how you feel. Include that you took a step back as requested but found that she had the idea you were ignoring her. You also need to maintain the fact that you are interested in building a relationship with her, but are not happy to sit back whilst she swaps and changes her mind.
2) cut off all contact with her and move on.
It's difficult knowing someone you like is wanting make a go of it, but then has someone else in the background who is also trying for the same thing. For all you know she could be saying the exact same thing to him and basically playing you both against each other.
Keeping one of you as a friend probably wouldn't work because you or he would always hope for more.
Hope it all works out for you.
1) If you really like her and don't want to let her go you could send an email telling her how you feel... It doesn't have to be complicated just a few lines to express how you feel. Include that you took a step back as requested but found that she had the idea you were ignoring her. You also need to maintain the fact that you are interested in building a relationship with her, but are not happy to sit back whilst she swaps and changes her mind.
2) cut off all contact with her and move on.
It's difficult knowing someone you like is wanting make a go of it, but then has someone else in the background who is also trying for the same thing. For all you know she could be saying the exact same thing to him and basically playing you both against each other.
Keeping one of you as a friend probably wouldn't work because you or he would always hope for more.
Hope it all works out for you.
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