Wow! That's a lot for me to get my head round in one lunch time.
Right, nice guys don't always finish last and women aren't always attracted to muppets but sometimes nice guys aren't as pushy as the louder bad boy and women can get confused... I dare say it works the same for men. That's my first answer.
As far as your situation is concerned I'm seening a lot of texting, emailing, MSNing etc but no actual talking? Is this a fair assumption? (If not I apologise) I would say that it's time for an actual conversation, preferably in person (much better for judging reactions) or on the phone. Arrange to meet up or have a call, make clear this is not a date. You need to ask all the questions you've just asked to her as any answer I and any other ABer gives will be on presumptions and possibilities, she needs to tell you what's going on.
That said, if she won't meet up or even discuss this properly with you then I would give her a wide birth. My opinion would be she's keeping both options open because she is confused and if that is the case then it's best she has time to work stuff out in her own head on her own before she even attempts to see either of you. But as I said previously, that is only an opinion, you need to speak to her and throw all these questions at her.
Good luck xx