Grit Your Teeth

[allenlondon]

I was on the verge of giving up this morning, then thought of my old man.

He wanted very little, which was just as well. But in his late 40s, he contracted an awful form of arthritis, twisting his feet so badly that walking made him cry in pain.

And yet he carried on, with primitive orthotic shoes, working every day until his premature death aged 63.

So I said to myself, as he must have done, “This is going to hurt, but I’ve got to do it.”

And that thought has sustained me all day. Some people appreciate their parents while they were alive. I wish I had.

(And no, this is not ‘virtue signalling’, whatever that dreadful cliche means; it is deep respect for a gentle, wise man).

[Mamyalynne]

Now now Sunk, a slight misunderstanding now cleared up - behave.

[ToraToraTora]

I do not buy a newspaper me old china.

[ummmm]

Allen - can you manage without the prosthetic?

[ummmm]

This might be in CB but it's quite a serious subject! Be nice.

[Sunk]

mamyalynne

Gotcha

[Mamyalynne]

Thank you :-)

[allenlondon]

Without the leg? not really, ummm.

I might be able to get round the flat on crutches, but cooking, cleaning, helping Mrs A sit up, get around, etc, no.

Best solution: it will heal up.

Worst: it’ll carry on until we get some of the vet’s potion I mentioned earlier, when at least we’ll be able to go together. Alternative endings are too horrible to even consider.

(PS. sorry for the gotcha, Tora. I did only mean ‘understood’).

[Mozz71]

As someone who's suffered from leg ulcers constantly over the past few years, you have my sympathy. The thought of them being behind the knee joint is horrible. I imagine they are agonising at times.

[ummmm]

I can't imagine the pain :-(

Can you not get carers in and/or meals on wheels (or whatever it's called now) for just while you heal? x

[andy-hughes]

Allen - I appreciate your post, and wish you the best in your recovery.

I deeply envy anyone who loved their parents, and miss them, I did neither, and am the poorer man for it.

[Zacs-Master]

Allen, I sincerely hope you find a little peace and a way to move forward. The ageing process is a dreadful thing. At 58 I can feel it’s spidersweb touch on certain parts of my anatomy and brain functions. Rage against the light.

[puzzled54]

Allen, do you have any family that can help you out while you heal?

[allenlondon]

puzzled. No. Scattered across the globe. Also childless, so no support from that source.

Zac. Thanks. Rage against the dying of the light? Always seemed a futile gesture. Always wanted to sink down, peacefully. Harder to contemplate when you have a dear partner who relies on you so much...

I never appreciated the agony of those aged parents caring for a disabled child. Now I’m beginning to.

With kindness,

Allen

[burlyshirley]

andy at 22:07, please do not envy me ! Losing my beloved parents and missing them as I do if the worst thing that has ever happened to me and I struggle with it every single day.

Allen, I'm sorry for your pain. I wish I could help you xx

[allenlondon]

burly. Regrets for loss are one thing; regrets at your own faults are another.

But we can’t change the past. All we can try and do is learn from it.

Thank you for your good wishes.

[andy-hughes]

burlyshirley - //
andy at 22:07, please do not envy me ! Losing my beloved parents and missing them as I do if the worst thing that has ever happened to me and I struggle with it every single day. //

I do still envy you.

Loving anyone or anything means that there is going to be pain at the end of it, and that is an acceptance we undertake in our relationships.

I know that losing parents is painful, and the closer the child is, the more painful the loss.

Nevertheless, I would accept and suffer the loss of my parents' love and support willingly, if it meant I had had them in my lifetime - which I did not.

I consider the pain of loss a price worth paying for having the love to lose in the first place.