The quickest way is the "Yuppie lunch", pioneered in the eighties by surprisingly, stockbrockers who wanted to get drunk on their lunch hour but had to go back to work sober.Warning,this is fine as a one off, but do not do more than one and do not do it on a regulr basis.
Pour straight Vodka onto a teaspoon and snort it directly up your nose.The alcohol buypasses the bloodstream and is absorbed through your nasal membrane and goes directly into your brain.The result is instant drunkness the equevelent of which is downing 10-15 shots.It only lasts for five minutes,but can give a headache and sneezing fits.Oh and it dosn't work if you have a cold, but at least you can drive.