my daughter doesnt get on with my new friends kids?

[babybop6379]

Every time i go around my friends house my daughter who is a grown up 8 ends up getting into rows with my friends kids boy young 9 and girl strong willed 5 and the boy is very crude in the way he is.
I always feel like im having a go at my daughter and we end up having a stressed time round there. I really get on with thier mum and we are always chatting and seeing each other but short of pulling my hair out every time we go round there i dunno what to do help???

[B00]

Stop taking your child round to your friends house then???

There can be nothing worse than children who dislike each other and their parents insist on them being together because it's convenient for them!

sorry if that sounds harsh, not really meant to be. Have you thought of perhaps just popping round to your friends when your daughter is say at school?

[scuzzball]

Think how you would feel if it was the other way round! Would you like to be taken somewhere to spend time with people you didnt like? You have some choice in the matter, but your daughter doesn't.

[babybop6379]

we live really close to each other and she pops over to mine too i know it seems the easiest thing to do but she will prolly think im being funny. over the summer we all bought stuff for the kids outside eg trampoline , big pool etc so all the other neighbours came out too but my daughter still had problems with my friends son who is quite crafty he will pull her to one side and tell her some horrid things or be really crude to her I only know this because my daughter comes and tells me i tell her to ignore him but he keeps approaching her. Also the little girl is very spiteful to my daughter ive always told her that hitting, biting , spitting is terrible behaviour yet she is supposed to ignore it when it happens. Ive discussed it with all the rest of the neighbours but they all say to ignore it kids will be kids and all that!! we all live in flats on top of one another so i dont want to create bad feelings

[B00]

Hiya again.

Yes I understand your situation however if this was happening to me, I wouldn't want these other children anywhere near my daughter anyway!

Sadly alot of u do have friends whose children we don't like or approve of.

In this instance, I really think you have to put the feelings of your daughter first and only see your friend when you're alone.

As to what you tell your friend over why your daughter is never with you....can't help there I'm afraid, but you really must stop trying to foist these other children onto yours, it's not fair on her.

[scoobydooby]

You should avoid taking your child to your friends but you should also try to explain why (as nicely as possible). You could say that your daughter is being over sensitive but nevertheless, is upset by her children's behaviour towards her. Explain that your daughter is so upset that it's causing rows between you and you'd rather avoid that as much as possible. If you and your friend are close enough, she'll understand how difficult it is for you and accept the situation. If she doesn't.....well, how much of a friend is she?