No. Sexual Partners

jd_1984 | 11:25 Fri 18th Jan 2013 | ChatterBank

49 Answers

I personally dont care to know or divulge this information. But a friend of mine says his girlfriend is very curious and wants to know how many partners he has had previous to her. They are in the very early stages of their relationship (7-8 weeks) but she has not wanted to have sex until to quote "she is totally comfortable with him". I think that is fair comment and perhaps more young lady's should be that way, not that I judge. Part of her feeling comfortable and trusting him is clearly knowing details about his past. But I disagree with him having to give her intimate information, she should just trust him and look ahead to spending time together and not get concerned with previous lovers/relationships.
I happen know, as we are close friends that his "number" is relatively high. He worked abroad for a number of years, then went in to the Navy and has racked up a fair list! But that information might push this girl away, she seems a touch insecure, wanting assurances from him that he hasnt "slept around"

Although I dont condone lying as such, my advice was to lessen the number and move forward. But does this show a potentially bigger insecurity issue for such an early relationship. What do you lot think??
Firstly does it matter and secondly what should he say?

I Totally Fed Up

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hippyhoppy

Sunny-dave... I've obviously had too much creme de menth... Did I say girlfriends... in which can I whittle it down to one... lol

sandyRoe

George Simenon, author of the Maigret stories, claimed 10,000. But then he went on to spoil his Don Juan image by admitting most were paid.

sunny-dave

Anyone we know Hippy?

hippyhoppy

A drunken bet snog when I was 18.. so no... lol

NOX

I think once it gets past about 20 it's a guestimate unless you're a saddo who enjoys the idea that it's some sort of prowess to bed as many women as possible.
I would never divulge my number ( mainly because I can't remember with any accuracy) to anyone who demanded to know, it's not a healthy thing to need to know that and it puts a block on aspects of the relationship which needn't be there. that being said my ex knew roughly how many partners I'd had because she wasn't a needy, cloying person who would try to use that against me and it came up naturally in conversation once.

jd_1984

Question Author

So in conclusion it seems that we agree that the past is the past. Very little good can come from knowing this information. I think however, this line of questioning from her opens a bigger issue that he will have to acknowledge, namely her potential insecurity.
Not that my partner would ask, but it has made me wonder what she would make of my past and made me wonder if the way I regard her would change if she had an extremely high or low number. So best not go there, we are very happy!