what do I do???

[PinkFizz]

I have 2 son's who live with their dad & I have themweekends.They have inherited their dad's vile temper,total racist attitude to anybody not white or British and the time with them varies from tolerable to sheer hell.They have no respect for me and bad mouth me constantly.To cut a long story short,the elder one asked for something on the phone last night which I had to say no to.This resulted in an evening of crude,despicable txts to me from both him and his dad,including things such as he hoped I would die and I was a wh*re.I have cried all night and feel dreadful.My partner says I should walk away as things will never change.I don't think they will either but they are my kids.What do I do??? p.s. sorry this is in b&s but I hope more people here can help. xxxx

[PinkFizz]

Hi Brenda.Because I told her what the eldest had called me she then went down the "he must have had a reason to call you that" route!! She is 56,but is very quick to judge,often wrongly.Wish I hadn't called her now!

[suzi-q]

Hi sorry to hear your troubles. My son (16) has just started seeing his father after 3 yrs. He is now playing us off against each other, is allowed out till midnight, is allowed to smoke and basically do as he wants. At our home he must be in by 10.30 and do a couple of chores round the house. Guess who he likes best??

I know just how you feel - so torn inside. You love your kids but you hate how they are turning out and are powerless to change this. The guilt eats away at you. But if you are like me you have only ever done your best and it hurts like hell when its gone so wrong.

It may be a good idea to write them a letter as you say. Pour out your feelings, seal it up and keep it until you feel time is right for them to read it.

My 2 boys dont seem like me and my new husband very much. They treat our home like a hotel and even though their dad wished them dead 3 yrs ago, now they think hes great.

Life isnt fair and being a mum sucks huh? xxx

[lilacben]

Hi Fizz so it isnt the age with your mum then. I am 56 also (oh dear suppose it is that old really)ha ha anyway offer still stands if you want a mumsy chat you are very welcome I would like to think I have a lot younger view on things. my eldest daughter is 33 and she talks to me about everything.!(sometimes thinks she say to much if you know what I mean) take care. Brenda xx