Ahoy there me hearties, the upstart crew of the good ship Early Bird!
Where oh where is the Captain? Not pacing the quarterdeck, not stuck in his cabin?
The time is, ''hells bells,'' or summat like that, time for grog and yarns about faraway places, like Southport or Skegness!
OK, OK so I'm late joining the ship today, but been having a parrot surgically removed, and counting me pieces of seven, (should have been eight, but things are tight!)
Me?
I'm off for a walk now on my branny new Captain Tom style rollator, courtesy of our beloved lubbers in the NHS!