Who Looks After The Finances In Your Relationship ?

[Bobbisox1]

I do, OH is quite happy and oblivious to what goes out and comes in , he never knew he’d had his £100 heating allowance last year till I told him I’d spent it :0)
Or now if you’re on your own, did you used to ? And then find it hard to do ?

[Bobbisox1]

Our friends we used to go on holiday with ( he died last August) she had her money and he had his even to shopping, he wanted fish or steak ? He’d give her the money to get it, my grandson calls them Grandma and Grandad as they’ve never had a family of their own, they would put £5 each in his money box every week and give him the contents in July , his birthday and at Christmas , he passed away and now the money has gone to a fiver a week , haha

[jennyjoan]

I have always managed my money and quite well from the day I started earning.

My friend pays for every single thing in her and husband's home - she said hubby hasn't a clue. I do wonder how your partner would cope if the "manager" died, it does leave them in a creek.

[Prudie]

Thank God he does as I have a phobia about it from the days before him when I did do it, was recently divorced, poor and being being hassled by banks, solicitors and all other officialdom.

[ummmm]

son asked me for £800 to buy some furniture. OH said a flat out 'NO'

He asked for £300 to get a new phone . He said yes to that.

My younger son needed money (student) and we don't do internet banking so he gave him the £300 and told him to transfer it to his .
brother.

Younger son is autistic so if he goes into his overdraft it make him anxious.

[-SharonA-]

Like you Bobbi, I manage all the money. OH is oblivious to what is going in and out. But our friends are greatly amused by the fact I give hubby "pocket money" each month. It is an arrangement which suits both of us.

[andy-hughes]

We have maintained separate bank accounts, and we always tended to pay depending who had the money - a very loose arrangement.

Mrs Hughes sorts all financial arrangements, booking holidays, tradesmen, etc. I am perfectly capable, but she is a bit of a control freak so if she does it, she knows it's done how she wants it, which is fine.

Mrs H's mum is utterly clueless, never paid a bill in her life and since her dad died, we have had to take over the running of her house for her.

Happily, all our daughters can run things if they need to, I think they have a similar system to ours.

[ummmm]

Prudie, like you I was in charge of the fiances, as a single mum. The fact that he controls the finances is a relief.

He doesn't control my spending though.

[Bobbisox1]

He usually get out what he wants *ping* , which is only fair as his private pension is a lot bigger than min ;0)

[tamborine]

The weekly allowance from OH when he was alive added up to his tax allowance for a wife - what a swizz!

[Bobbisox1]

I book the holidays , sort out what needs doing and getting people to do it and pay them,my daughter is excellent running her home , from the day they got married they both decided to live on one wage just in case they ever had to , that was nearly 26 years ago

[andy-hughes]

I am mystified as to how married couples can insist in 'his' and 'her' money - surely the definition of marriage is sharing everything you have with each other?

When we met, my wife was a barmaid, separated with two small children and no money at all. I supported her through college.

She became a teacher, rising to be a head teacher, then an ISI and Ofsted inspector working in the Arab Emirates, so she earned far more than I did.

But the 'shared' attitude to money has remained exactly the same, it's all our money, and we spend it how we wish.

[Bobbisox1]

We share everything , the couple I mentioned before took it to the zenith and I’m sure there was an element of mistrust between them to be that way

[tamborine]

Any wages I earned from independant work was deducted from OH's allowance to me; b#%*# control freak - so I did voluntary work, lol

[Prudie]

Just to confirm we each have our own accounts and I spend what I like, a joint one for bills but he handles the mortgage and outgoings and does my internet banking for me (with me in the room). It's pathetic but my blood runs cold if I have to deal with anything from the bank, even though I'm quite comfortably off these days.

[Bobbisox1]

That’s probably because of your former marriage break up Prudie , some things stay with you forever

[zebo]

I tended to be the one who was on top of things, I have a finance spread sheet for savings etc.. OH died a year ago tomorrow and I told my daughters that had it happened the other way round he would have been lost!

[Bobbisox1]

Arh, I bet you’re missing him Zebo, my thoughts are with you on the first anniversary , the hardest one

[Peter Pedant]

// I am mystified as to how married couples can insist in 'his' and 'her' money //
it saves them from asking for money which no one likes
( because, Freud said, you never asked your mother for it - - well that is good old Ziggie for you)

so yes, the other one has money that can be spent as wanted.

I go froo every every transaction every month oo er mrs ! because Henry VII did it - no - because we have been subjected to cloning and stealing and scamming and all that lah-dee-dah more than once

Large amounts are formally discussed on an agendy - prevents "blimey did I say yes to that?" - actually because me auld da' got absolutely screwed when he was deaf on that in a contract that he was held to (outside the fambly)

[Zacs-Master]

Mrs Zacs is firmly in control of all our expenses. I get weekly pocket money.