My Wife has a drink problem!

[bigwad]

My Wife has a drink problem, she will not admit it, she can't control what she drinks, she doesn't know when she's had enough. She drink nearly every night of the week, unless I really kick up a fuss, she becomes irritable and sometimes agressive after only a few drinks, this is getting me down and I'm now struggling to cope, what should I do??

[kate1976]

The only advice I can give is to try and get her to see her GP for help but if she doesn't want help then she won't seek it I'm afraid!

Good luck!

[China Doll]

Feel for you but until she admits she has a problem then there is very little that can be done.

Personally... and I know this will sound harsh... I'd leave, at least for a little while. I know you must love her but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. It might be the wake up call she needs. Often anyone who has an addiction ends up using someone as a crutch to keep them propped up and you can end up unwittenly enabling their addiction.

AA also provide support and advice to people living with alcoholics. It might help you to go and meet other people in the same boat.

It is viewed as an illness so try and remember your wife isn't a bad person. Good luck to you xx

[electricblue]

My god are you talking about my hubby?
Each day you expect the sh1te that comes when they return,,you're at the end of your rope,but the kids are the reason you keep the peace(try to anyway),

[bigwad]

Fortunately we don't have kids

[noxlumos]

Take her out for the day ( when she's sober) and make the day erally special. Tell her that you love ehr and because of this you need her to address her drinking problem and stay pleasant, calm and understanding and ask her why she feels better when she's had a drink.Happy people are generally not alcoholics, so there will be some reason that she's drinking and initially before you or she can do antyhing about the drinking she needs to find out what this is ( sher may not be sure herself).
Once you are openly communicating, start a strategy of reducing drink ( not cutting it out) until it's at a manageable level.Let her know you love her and support her and be available to talk about anything that's bothereing her both current and in the past. Once the reason for the drinking is addressed she'sll start to feel better and less powerless and hopefully will be better able to take control of her actions. I'm going to say avoid AA like the plague and risk getting my head bitten off by people who think it's wonderful, but AA disempowers the individual and works on the belief that once an addict always an addict, and that is not a healthy or helpful mehtod of quitting excessive drinking, nor should total abstinance be necessary if she deals with whatever is bothering her long term.
I was a very heavy drinker and I got control this way and would reccomend it to anyone. Hope this helps.

[maggie01]

She has to want to give up the drink. She can't do it for anyone else. As noxlumos says, pick a time when she is sober and don't critisise her, just tell her how you feel and what effect it is having on you and your relationship. Try and get her to think back to when and what made her start drinking. Hope she listens to you

[garythecat]

Dont know where you live but The Priory (Altrincham) offer a free 1 hour consultation with a counsellor (most of their alcohol counsellors are recovering alcoholics so they know all about it and are brilliant). They definitely have a knack of helping people see that their drinking is not under control and how it has a negative effect on them and family/friends. It will be tough to get your wife there but if you can Im sure it would be a massive help. My dad is an alcohlic so I know how tough it can be. Keep going and very best of luck x

[Carakeel]

You have my sympathy bigwad. You will find a lot of good advice if you get in touch with Al Anon UK. They offer support and advice to family members of people who have a drinking problem. Their web site is:
www.al-anonuk.org.uk .Best wishes to you and your wife.