Controversy

jwatts1981 | 00:24 Wed 30th Jun 2021 | Film, Media & TV

13 Answers

is it rude to buy groceries when you go to somone house Iheard on the news this family member in nda went to her sister in law house brought her own groceries with her and she felt insulted

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calmck

If you need a special diet it would be advisable to take what you need especially if you are staying for a while.

Mamyalynne

If invited round for a meal, I may take a box of chocolate or a bottle of wine - even a basket of fruit.

If invited to stay a few days I would offer to pay toward expenses but not turn up with a bag of groceries.

lady-janine

If I go to stay with family member or friend I tend to empty my fridge and take goods with me but only because it is such a waste if they go bad and are then thrown away. If they come to stay with me they usually do the same.
No offense meant and none taken as far as I am aware.

Buenchico

Is the suggestion here that the visitor to the house brought her own food (etc) just for her own use or that she brought it as a contribution towards her host's expenses?

If it's the former then (unless she's on a special diet that her host couldn't cope with), I'd say that it was a bit of an insult, as it would seem to suggest that the host's catering isn't up to standard. If it was the latter then it might simply be seen as a well-intentioned error.

When I was a child, whenever my Uncle Tom and Aunt Audrey came to visit our house, my uncle would always bring his own sandwiches and then eat them in his car while the rest of us ate our tea in the house. My mother took great offence at him doing that (although she never expressed it directly to either my aunt or uncle), as she saw it as suggesting that her food wasn't up to standard.

Conversely though, if I've been invited to a party I'll usually take some booze along with me (even if it's not been specified as a 'bring a bottle' party), simply to show that I don't want the host to suffer a massive hit to their bank balance through hosting an event that lots of people will be enjoying.

jno

you could alway ask your host/ess

THECORBYLOON

My best pal is Bengali and she would have felt the same way if guests turnt up with their own food.

It's just a difference in cultures, that's all.

THECORBYLOON

In case it's not clear from the question, the sister-in-law is Indian.

https://slate.com/human-interest/2021/06/dear-prudence-groceries-houseguest-manners.html?via=rss

johnk

Depends on the circumstances but generally it would probably cause offence.

roopower

Different cultures have different ways of looking at things. There is a possibility that if you took food with you the hostess would be offended, unless it was agreed beforehand. In this case I think it was a family going to stay and thought it was a lot of extra mouths to feed.