question for the fellas

[blond_law]

My friend met a fella on our hols. They met on the first night and really clicked - one thing lead to another and they got it on. The next day he completely blanked her, not even smiling or saying hello. She saw him out one night and asked why he couldn't even say hello and he said that he didn' t do reruns. the worst thing was him and his mates were staying at our hotel and was on our plane home. My mate held her own but we are completely baffled as to why he behaved like that to her. The weird thing is all his mates started to ignore the pair of us aswell. Is this a man thing???

[Loosehead]

It's a bit of a paradox really. men do their best to get girls into bed, especially on holiday, however suceeding on the first night means that the girl in question is "too easy" hence there is no future because "if she jumped into bed with me on the first night she'll jump into bed with others" in the mind of the man this equals slapper, QED, not interested. I am not passing any opinion here just explaining the reasoning that appears to have taken place in this case.

[chimney]

They were probably having a pulling contest and if you slept with the same person twice you got points deducted, you will realise that blokes do this as we are not very mature when there's hot weather, cheap alcohol, women and a different country involved.

Luckily some of us grow out of it by our mid 20's and the same type of women that we shunned back then are the ones that shun us now! D'oh.

[azif]

Looks like the guy was only after one thing and didn't want anything to do with your friend. This is understandable if his intentions were clear to your friend from the outset. I believe it is a man thing as they tend not to get emotionally involved whereas women do?

[Octavius]

Agree with Loosehead, all the fun was in the chase. It sounds like he caught up with her too easily and then lost interest.

[andrew 39]

hi blond-law,
most men do not behave like that,
this guy sounds like a nasty self dillussioned cretin,
you are better off without such morons.
andy

[IzzieQ]

What a knob. I'd say she should not waste any more time worrying about this shallow idiot - just chalk it up to experience. There are plenty of men out there who wouldn't do such a thing.

[Carakeel]

Maybe jumping into bed with a guy you have only just met isn't such a great idea????? I assume alcohol was probably a key factor. Just hope she learned something out of this experience. Men do see girls as being 'cheap slappers' if they are so easy that is not surprising. But how come only the woman are put into such a bad light for this kind of behaviour and the men come off scott free??? I have to say, if I knew that alcohol led me to be so easy, I would watch that I don't drink so much. I certainly would never sleep with anyone so soon after meeting them. In my eyes, men who have sex with girls they have just met are just as bad as the girls and need to come off their bravado attitude! It just makes them look stupid. Call me old fashioned, but isn't this kind of behaviour the reason why sexual diseases have been spreading at such an alarming rate? I think, as nice a girl as your friend my be, she needs to develop a little more self-respect. Then this might not happen again. I wish you both well.

[noxlumos]

I have in the past slept around casually a lot, but I have never found it necessary to treat anyone with whom I've slept badly.There is simply no need. True the thrill is in the chase, but just because a girl allows herself to be caught easily, doesn't give anyone a carte blance to behave like that. I have always remained pleasant and in some cases on platonically freindly terms with one night stands ( it's a while ago mind you). Seems to me this muppet bolsters his own low self esteem by bedding girls then proving to himself all over again how desireable he is to her without having to get involved, and dramatises the whole thing by being a thorough and utter nasty a******e. He'll get fat, drink too much and die alone watching daytime TV eventually, so tell her to look on the bright side.

[blond_law]

thanks for your replies guys. I just wanna point out tho that he actually came knocking at our door at 6.30 in the morning claiming to be locked out, she fell sorry for him i think and he was the only fella she had intimacy with on hols. We both agree that if he hadn't come knocking she wouldn't have pursued him so i don't think she has low self esteem as u say - she was on holiday!!!

[cascarelli]

Basically, I'd say she was too easy and, with this type of male mindset, the guy would lose face with his mates if he showed any sort of emotion - hence blanking her. Immature on his part, but why get involved with someone like that to start with? He was just there to drink and sh*g women, and, unfortunately, your friend was just another one on his list

[Chappers]

We men will always be like that I'm afraid...we lie, we cheat, we do anything to get women into bed yet when it comes to settling down, we want a nice wholesome woman, not some cheap scrubber!

Men have always been like this and women need to think more before putting out! Men know that women on holiday are easy targets, that's why we go!

Sometimes I feel ashamed to be male.

[filthiestfis]

Advice: Dont jump into bed with anyone on the first meeting :P

[China Doll]

I know this was aimed at the guys but I'll put my two pennies in for what it's worth.

I think they're all absolutely correct. Men rarely respect a girl in the morning if she has slept with them in a short time of meeting them. And that works in reverse as well. I have had two one night stands and the first one I certainly did not want to get in to a deep and meaning with him in the morning. Without being too crude, he served his purpose and I didn't have any desire for it to be any more than what it was. The second is actually a friend of mine and differs only in the sense that we both know each other well and it has not affected our friendship. We both knew that we weren't looking for anything else in the morning.

I don't think I would ever sleep with someone I actually thought I really liked the first time I met them but hey, never say never right? I think as long as you take precautions and that you both know what you're signing up for then what goes on between consenting adults is their business.

But if you're female it does pay to be descreet about your indecretions ;0) xx

[sunflower71]

what an ar$e,
dont waste any more energy on him.

what goes around comes around

[joko]

phew, she had a lucky esacape!

men often think this kind of behaviour gives them power and a a false sense of bravado....it actually shows them for the feeble minded, intellectually stunted, neandethals they are.
they actually think all that posturing and posing and cockyness is some how appealing and enviable - which is really laughable and further proves their idiocy.

incidentally, when will men realise that women are not "prey" and to be chased, fought for, and conquered and won ...we are people just the same as them and all this ridiculous enforcement of gender roles needs to die out - its like a pathetic fairy story - man(prince on his white charger) valiantly persues his girl ("pure" princess in the ivory tower) and fights all the trolls (other blokes) to win her honour...blah blah...utter garbage

women are not property and the fact that they have enjoyed sex with someone else does not make them "soiled goods", or some other repugnant phrase that gets trotted out when referring to girls who aren't virgins.

[RATTER15]

joko, I agree with everything you said but unfortunately, some men will always treat Women this way if they are allowed to, and there is plenty of women that will allow it.

I have never behaved this way myself I hasten to add and I don't condone it, its just a fact i'm afraid.

[Carakeel]

Yoko, please don't generalise. I do agree with you that many men are like this, but there are some really wonderful ones out there too, who treat women with respect in every way. And no, I am not a man ... I am a woman who has learned that we must not condemn all men, just because we have experienced some who are absolute cretins. You wouldn't want men saying that all women are easy and thick, would you? So, please be fair and remember, not all men are bad eggs!!

[joko]

crapkeel - i think its safe to say that most people understood that i wasn't saying every single man on the planet thinks like this, because that would be silly wouldn't it?
given that i don't know them all and never will, and i also know lots of lovely brilliant ones - there simply isn't the space here to cover every possiblity and every aspect of an issue every single time it is discussed - all the posts would be 10 times as long as necessary if we all had to acknowledge every other point of view in every sentence - but, if you need that point reiterating for you then thats fine.

- i didn't mean all, i was making a point in reference to the behaviour of the man mentioned in the question...

[jno]

there are nice men and unnice men (same as for women), and your friend got one of the unnice ones. The moral, as other people have suggested, may be to check out which sort you've got before going to bed with them. If you just want instant sex, go ahead; but don't be amazed if that turns out to be all he wanted too. Personally, I think blanking people is rude - but then I'm choosy.