Good questions, newtron (just got back from 3.2 hours of defying the law of gravity successfully again, by the way).
What's happened, over the years, is that a simple, somewhat valid explanation for your question was granted legacy standing, that being the oft quoted Bernoulli Principle. Problem is, as you have deduced, it doesn't withstand in-depth scrutiny. Firstly, it's been known for years that when two molecules of air are separated by the leading edge of a wing, the chances that they will reunite at the trailing edge is less that nil. It is part of the KISS explanation of lift and one, unfortunately, promulgated through repetitive generations of flight instructors. I was taught the old canard and used it when teaching students until curiosity got the better of me.
Firstly, Newton's 3rd law, as you've discovered, is the controlling force along with the phenomena decribed as the Coanda Effect. Although developed for fluid dynamics it holds true for air in motion as well. It describes the tendency of a fluid which comes into contact with a curved surface trying to follow that surface. The reason it does is termed viscosity. Air has a certain stickiness causing the flow pattern. At the wings surface, the relative velocity between that surface and the nearest air molecules is exactly zero. This area is termed the boundary layer. The farther away from the boundary level the faster the air moves...because the fluid near the surface has a change in velocity, the fluid flow is bent towards the surface and will follow the surface unless the bend is to small of a circumference. The "tighter" the bend the more force is applied to the air. So much so that the greatest part of lift is produced at the most forward part of the wing... somewhere in the neighborhood of half the total lift...
Contd.