News1 min ago
Quiickies
My wife is threatening to leave me for never putting the toilet seat down.
To be honest, I’m getting a little tired of carrying it around.
________________
I gave my friend an apple, and he told me he preferred pears.
So I gave him another apple.
________________
My wife said, "Tell me you love me!"
I said, "Give me a flipping chance, I'm only on my 8th can of Fosters!"
________________
I was walking past a hardware shop with a friend sign on the window read cast iron sinks - she said any fool knows that.....
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I walked into a cafe this morning with my jack russell. The owner of the cafe said, "Excuse me sir, no dogs allowed in here."
Quick as a flash I said, "I'm blind."
He said, "I thought blind people had labradors or alsations?"
I bent down and said, "Why what have they given me?"
_______________
To be honest, I’m getting a little tired of carrying it around.
________________
I gave my friend an apple, and he told me he preferred pears.
So I gave him another apple.
________________
My wife said, "Tell me you love me!"
I said, "Give me a flipping chance, I'm only on my 8th can of Fosters!"
________________
I was walking past a hardware shop with a friend sign on the window read cast iron sinks - she said any fool knows that.....
________________
I walked into a cafe this morning with my jack russell. The owner of the cafe said, "Excuse me sir, no dogs allowed in here."
Quick as a flash I said, "I'm blind."
He said, "I thought blind people had labradors or alsations?"
I bent down and said, "Why what have they given me?"
_______________
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