Dating A Mutual Friend's Ex.

[crptcanswers]

My bestfriend & I love each other. We've known each other for two years now. The issue here is that her ex is a mutual friend. He introduced us to each other. She broke up with the ex a year ago, and their relationship lasted for a year as well. She had every reason to break up, and it's important to mention that her break up reasoning had nothing to do with me at all. We both have confessed our feelings to each other and she has moved on from him, however she thinks that now is not the right time for us to date as he hasn't moved on, and she views that if we date now, it'd be like back-stabbing him. It's important to note that this friend is not a very close friend of mine, we might even be considered acquaintances. We speak very rarely, and it's often just about new music releases, games, movies and so on. My question is; is it immoral or wrong of us to date? or is it fine? keep in mind, I do not mind risking to lose this friendship, however she feels like she'd be responsible for it, which is something I disagree on. I view that we both love each other very dearly & a lot (we have informed each other), and we both would love to be with each other forever. What do you think?

[pastafreak]

// She broke up with the ex a year ago //
Good grief...what's taking you so long? ;)
I think more than enough time has passed. It's not as if they were married, or she's been widowed. Time to get on with life.

[Ellipsis]

Yes, get on with it. Life is short, people die with no notice. If your mutual friend can't handle it then that's his problem, but perhaps with the two of you in a relationship he will come to realise that there's nothing there for him any more. Whereas if your best friend remains single then your mutual friend will always hope that he can win her back. In other words ...

> he hasn't moved on, and she views that if we date now, it'd be like back-stabbing him

... maybe he'll never move on until she does.

[bednobs]

are you sure this person loves you? sounds like an excuse to me not to go out with you

[Peter Pedant]

yeah kiss but no tongues

[Canary42]

It's certainly not immoral or wrong, but nevertheless I can understand your friend's concerns, she is being kind to her ex. It does however cast a slight doubt on her true feelings - has she really rejected him or does some loving feeling linger. And as regards your last point, I'm sure she at one time would have loved to have been with him forever. Only you can really decide the way to go.

[david small]

The heart wants what the heart wants. Fill yer boots.

[LadyCG]

If I'm understanding this correctly they've been apart now for as long as they were together.

I'd say it was high time everyone moved on with their lives and stopped living in the past.