My 18 Year Old Girlfriend Is Having Privacy Issues With Her Mom. It Seems Almost Like Her Mom Wants To See Her Naked On A Daily Basis. Is This Normal?

[danielpfang3]

My girlfriend and her mom have always been close, so my girlfriend was comfortable with her and would shower in front of her, change in front of her, etc. Recently, she's started to realize that this happens too frequently, so although she's not uncomfortable with her mom seeing her naked, she’s asked her mom to give her some more space and privacy. She’s asked her mom to not come into the bathroom in my girlfriends own room when she’s in there and to not come into the change room whenever they are shopping together. Nonetheless, the mom still goes into the bathroom with no purpose and also peeks through the change room curtains while my girlfriend tries clothes on. It almost seems like the mom wants to see her naked for some reason. Is this normal?

[archibaldy]

Forget about whether it's normal or not, normal doesn't exist.

If your girlfriend has asked for something not to happen and it's reasonably in her Mum's power to stop - as in this case - then it's time to issue an ultimatum.. If she doesn't stop then the bathroom door is getting locked and they won't be going underwear shopping together any more.

[andy-hughes]

Some parents have difficulty in accepting that their children are growing up, and need their privacy.

Because your girlfriend's mom has spent so much time supervising her daughter getting ready, it's natural for her to walk into the bathroom, and to check on her changing.

She may need to be gently reminded that her daughter is now a young woman, and would appreciate the privacy that all adults enjoy.

I don't think her mom is doing this for any sinister reasons, simply habit based on years of experience.

A gentle reminder a few times should get the message over, if not, as advised, locking the door and shopping solo will sort out the issue.

[pixie374]

My children and I seemed to automatically give each other privacy as they got older. Nothing sinister with this, I'm sure. But she needs a proper conversation with mum and boundaries.

[andy-hughes]

Indeed Pix.

Some parents just understand the need for privacy as their children mature, others simply don't think about it, and need a quick reminder.

[pixie374]

Reading again, it seems the girlfriend is used to it and "not uncomfortable" about it.
Are you sure, Daniel, that you haven't made any comments or suggestions yourself... that have caused this?

[danielpfang3]

@pixie374 As I mentioned in my explanation, my girlfriend is both used to it and "not uncomfortable" with the concept of her mother seeing her naked. Nonetheless, it is more that she doesn't mind if her mom sees her naked rather than her wanting her mom to see her naked. She still feels vulnerable when she is naked, and she does not particularly enjoy being naked in front of her mother either.

As for what caused this, I did not make any comments or suggestions that may have done so. She has noticed from spending time with some of her friends that most people do not have the same experience as her, and she asked me what I thought about it. If you want my opinion on the matter, though, I will share it: I do not care if her mother sees her naked at an appropriate time since my girlfriend doesn't mind, but I don't particularly like the idea of her mother actively trying to see her naked every day, and my girlfriend has expressed that her mother's actions make her uncomfortable.