Three More
Paddy buys a bath, but takes it back the next day complaining the
water keeps running out. The manager asks "Did you buy a plug?"
Paddy replies, "You didn't say it was electric!"
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In the newspaper it said 'Please look after your neighbours in the
cold weather'. Our neighbour is an 87 year old woman - not once has
she come round to check if we are alright. The lazy *** hasn't even
taken in her milk for 2 weeks!
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Farmer Giles gets a phone call from his farm hand.
"I've run over a pig and it's stuck under the tractor, still alive...."
"Shoot it", says the farmer, "and then bury him".
A little while later he gets another phone call.
"Done that, what should I do with his speed camera?!"
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