A Scots Wedding
Two Glaswegians, Erchie and Jimmy, are sitting in the pub discussing Jimmy's forthcoming wedding.
"Och, it's all goin' pure brilliant," says Jimmy. "A've got everythin' oarganised awready, the fluers, the church, the caurs, the reception, the rings, the meenister. Even ma stag night".
Erchie nods approvingly.
"I've even bought a kilt to be married in!" continues Jimmy.
"A kilt?" exclaims Erchie, "that's braw, you'll look pure smairt in that"!
"An' what's the tartan?" Erchie then enquires.
"Och," says Jimmy, "A'd imagine she'll be in white!"