having ms and a 12 year old and a 12 weeks old baby

[sunny30]

Hi, i was told i had ms 4 years ago, my 12 year old has no idea as i didnt tell her as i wanted her to enjoy her younger years without worrying about her mum. I inject myself once a week which is helping me keep my ms at bay, i decided to have another baby while i was still well enough, but now the new baby and my daughter who thinks she is 21, is all getting too much, should i tell her the truth?
I just want a hand around the house, i have been too stubborn before and didnt let anyone help me do
anything, sort of not letting this disease take over my life, but as my partner says she is old eneough....what do you think?

[B00]

My heart goes out to you sunny.

Only you and your partner know if your daughter at 12 is old enough and mature enough to accept this devastating news about her mum. Would your GP be able to give you pamphlets, booklets suitable for her age range to look at? Maybe get an understanding of MS from a kids point of view?

Until you've decided what to do with regards to telling her or not - have you thought of just asking her for a little bit of help around the house because 'mum is tired with the baby' ? If you reward her with money, obviously not a large amount- lol, she'll love it.

And congratulations on your new baby :-)

[sunny30]

thanks boo.... i am sure she would cope with it, but its likely more me than her, but i just dont know when to tell her, she has just had a huge change in her life, she has gone from an only child and grand child to having to share everyone....she is great with the baby, just need her to do her own room and little things like that. i think i will talk yo my doctor about it, thanks

[oldwoman]

My mam was in a wheel chair,rheumatoid arthritis from me being 2years old. My grandmother died when I was 8. My dad was at work and in those days there was no help with anything. I did the housework looked after my mams needs. She is old enough to give you the support you need,in doing jobs around the house. Explain to her that you cant do some of the things you would like to do. There is a time to ask for a little help. If her helping you is going to make you feel less tired everyone is going to gain in the long run. A stubborn person or a fun person,your choice.xx

[Solarjunkie]

Seems only fair that she should do her part in the household, especially now there is a baby in the home. Whether or not a parent is ill, each member of the family should do what they can. I don't think you need to tell her about your illness if you don't feel it's time, but sit down & negotiate a reasonable amount for her to do, eg wash up every other night for starters.
Good luck.

[Donna69]

Hi
Im sorry to hear of your situation. I am a Young Carers Worker in Glasgow. You dont mention what area you live in.

[Donna69]

Hi Sunny
Have you any idea if there is a carers organisation in your area. A Young Carers project would let your daughter mix with peers that are in the same position as herself. You say she is 12 going on 21, well this is very common for Young Carers. Look for carers organisations on the net or just look for Princess Royal Trust for Carers. Young Carers Projects will offer support and practical advice to the whole family.