is it normal?

[neathgirl]

is it normal to feel really scared about being in love with someone? i hav been involved with someone for the past 10 months and now i feel i am battling my feelings. im trying so hard not to feel completely in love cos im really scared about getting hurt and i feel quite vulnerable. how do people manage their feelings successfully and not let their insecurities affect their relationship?

many thanks 4 ur advice in advance xx

[makemesmile]

You ask "How do people manage their feelings successfully and not let their insecurities affect their relationship"?

They don't. We all try, but we are the sum of our past experiences and they effect the way we feel and act.

Being in love with someone, trusting them with your most vunerable of feelings, IS scarey. But worth it, when you find a good person. It doesn't hurt to question your feelings to check that you're sure, but don't battle your feelings. If it doesn't feel right, then back away. But if it does, then go with it. Take it slowly, talk it through, take care of yourself and don't take stupid risks (with your health etc).

But to say that you're scared of falling in love because you're afraid of getting hurt is like saying you're afraid of smiling 'cause you might get laughter lines. The gains far outway the losses.

We're all scared. Good luck xx

[angeldraws]

Hi - as mentioned above - also, it might be an idea to remember that - 'that which protects, also deprives,' - so you could put up a wall to protect yourself from getting hurt but you also prevent wonderful things entering your life by doing so (speaking from experiences similar to yours sounds). Personally, i think love & heartache are one of life's lessons and you have to go thru these things, in addition to other experiences, in order to become as whole a person as you can, as you learn the best way/s to deal with them......
Hope this helps..... :o)

[TheTemptress]

yep, i always said i would never marry a man i was really really over the top in love with...sounds really strange i know. i cant explain. i just thought it would be tragic. anyway, i did marry, wasn/t over the top in love and kept my feelings for him quite 'low key' (if thats the word). i was always aware (and so was he) that he loved me more than i loved him. he often said he knew this and to be honest i felt a bit enpowered by this. it was like...well if things go wrong ill be ok and i wont go to pieces. anyway, we are celebrating our silver wedding next year and i absolutely love him to bits. we are so in love. he works away and even when he phones me every night, i get butterflies. i dont know if i was right to feel this way but i know its worked for me. maybe not the right advice to give you but its another way of looking at it?

[neathgirl]

thank you for ur advice has definitely made me feel "normal", and definitely given me something to think about.