Is My Boyfriend Controlling?

[patra101]

Hi, I am in a long distance relationship. My boyfriend moved to Canada for good and I am left here in the Philippines. We are now trying to make this long distance relationship work (9 months and counting). He is now working part-time as a security guard while I just finished my first year in my university and currently in a term break. Recently, he asked me today to not schedule plans on Saturdays' and Sundays' because that is usually his day off. However, before he told me his request, I already told him that I have plans on Aug 20 (Saturday-Philippine time) which is my friend's birthday and I asked him if I'm still allowed to attend. He said no and I got frustrated. He said that he changed his mind and I am not allowed to hangout with my friends. I called him selfish and he said that I don't know how to compromise. He even told me that I'm not a great boyfriend.

I'm only asking for a day, plus before he stated his request I already told him that I have plans during that day. I don't know if he really just wants to spend time with me or he is controlling my time? Or am I not really compromising?

[bednobs]

Yes.
how are you going to spend time together if he's in canada and you're in the Philippines?

[cashier]

You shouldn't have to ask if you are allowed to go anywhere. Do you know how he spends his free time in Canada? Yes, in answer to your question he is controlling.

[New Judge]

//I asked him if I'm still allowed to attend.//

What? He's on the other side of the world, permanently, and you're asking him if it's OK to go out next week.

Wise up. What you have here is not a relationship. You exchange words over the internet and that's it. Why on Earth you should ask his permission to go out is astounding. You've no need to compromise with this individual over anything. Just do what you like, get out in the real world to meet people. You might enjoy it.

[Redhelen72]

As Manilla is 12 hours ahead of Ottawa how you spend your time will have little consequence on each other.
Tell him to get a life and contact you when he has grown up a bit!

[Sqad]

////Is My Boyfriend Controlling?////

Yes.

[Smowball]

Yes. Well he isn’t even a boyfriend if he is in a different country!! And why on earth are you asking him if you can go out?? For all you know he could have a boyfriend out there in Canada and you wouldn’t have a clue. Cut all ties with him and find yourself a partner in your own country that you can actually see!

[davebro]

just break it off - it's going nowhere.

[Canary42]

What a hopeless situation - terminate it now, it will only end in tears.

[Redhelen72]

Whilst don't disagree with anything anyone else has said - Smow of course he can be his boyfriend if he is in another country!
A lot of relationships in the forces are whilst your other half is in another country!

[davebro]

unless of course you're a person that like to be controlled?

[jourdain2]

Just to hammer the point home. YES he is controlling. Cut the relationship off.

[gness]

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