OG - your thread reminds me of this old one:
An old man lived alone in the Zimmerset countryside.
One spring, he wanted to dig his tomato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Barnie, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Barnie – I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I am getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the garden for me. Love, your Papa.
A few days later he received a letter from his son…
Dear Papa – I’d do anything for you Papa, except dig up that garden. That’s where I buried the bodies. Love, Barnie
At 4 o’clock the next morning, Inspector Morse, the CID and local police arrived and dug up the entire back-garden without finding any bodies.
They apologised to the old man and left. The same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Papa – Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances. Love, Barnie