Mil Receiving Loads Of Calls

[Redhelen72]

from insurance companies
I am talking about dozens a week (according to her)
when I went over I sorted out loads of excess insurances and since we have been back she has taken out 3 further insurances - which she claims she was bullied into taking due to the number of calls to her.

Is there a scheme that we can sign her up to?
we have tried telling her just to say no thank you and hang up - I have even left a list of insurances that she has in place but she continues to take out more and says its down to her getting flustered over the number of calls and forgetting that she has them already.

[barry1010]

Helen, I've given this some thought and I'm sure I've said similar to you before but nevertheless, here it is again.

Your mother in law is not your responsibility. You don't get on and she causes you a lot of stress as well as takes up a lot of your time.
Write to your brother-in-law telling him that in light of your new job, your husband's poor health and the dreadful relationship you have with M-i-L you are no longer able to deal with her problems nor her situation and in future will email any issues that come to light to him for him to deal with.
When she phones you, be sympathetic but tell her you'll let B-i-L know and keep the conversation as short as possible. Then email your B-i-L for him to deal with as he sees fit.
Turn off your worry button.
If she phones for help with Sky or any other problem, tell her to phone B-i-L.

Really, what she does with her money is her concern and if she wastes the lot on insurance she doesn't need, so be it.

Stick to your guns.

[bobbinwales]

^ agreed

[Redhelen72]

I know you’re right Barry, but I do feel some guilt!
Especially as BIL doesn’t actually seem that bothered!
Both my parents are dead and I only have my Stepmum and MIL left and I suppose deep down I want her to live me!
Daft I know!!
Thanks once again for your help

[barry1010]

You're welcome, it is horrible to be so ineffective in these situations but we can't always get other people to behave the way we think they should.

[bednobs]

as barry says, people make their own decisions even if those decisions seem unwise to other people.
I love "turn off your worry button"

[Peter Pedant]

agree Barry
almost said it myself ( but thank god no one reads it)

[Redhelen72]

Not always easy to do is it though - she is telling us that she is so hard up that she can't pay for help, or put the heating on - get taxis to places (we convinced her to give up driving as she was dangerous).
Apparently everyone is out to rip her off and i just wanted to make sure that she was looked after.

[lankeela]

How comes when I say what I think I am accused of being on a mission to be hurtful? And to have turned into a rather nasty individual in recent times. Yet wolf can tell you to tell your MIL that if she carries on doing all the stupid things then she is ready to go into a home with all the old biddies and then tells you to ignore all contact? Seems pretty mean to me not to mention double standards.

[Redhelen72]

Perhaps because I have known wolf for years and know that her comments are tongue in cheek and not malicious in any way?

[lankeela]

I look after an elderly lady with dementia and she was doing all this sort of thing, ordering double glazing she didn't need then cancelling bank direct debits and then accusing the bank of taking her money and when the firms chased her for it she denied any knowledge. Her son was denying there was a problem and now a couple of years later she has to have a full time carer as she doesn't know what day of the week it is. He just doesn't want to have to sell her house to pay for a care home. She doesn't even know me now, but I still go and visit and collect medication for her but its getting very frustrating because something bad is going to happen before much longer and nobody seems to be bothered. I would get social services involved and tell them you are not able to continue with the level of care you are giving her and they need to step up.

[Redhelen72]

social services have been involved as recently as 3 months ago - she refuses to go into a home so they have put as much aid into the house as she will let them.
The problem is she is able to afford home helps but refuses to! She gets carers allowance but doesn't spend it on care!

[barry1010]

Do you mean she gets attendance allowance? The carer gets carers allowance, not the person who needs care

[Redhelen72]

it will be attendance allowance that she gets - been getting it for years