Pooh time

[smithers]

Why do men take ages to do a pooh? I was in the bog for 25 mins earlier. I swear I was having contractions at regular 3 min intervals. The wife just goes in and hey presto 2 mins and voila, it's on it's road to the seaside. So why do men take ages?

[redcrx]

I suppose it could be down to the womans ability to multitask.

Perhaps if you hold your breath itd be quicker?? :)

[PinkFizz]

Coz they're full of sh*t ! (only joking!)

[whiffey]

I have a small library in the bog, so reading. Studying OS maps, having an electric shave, watching the spider in the bath, listening to the radio, squirting the limescale on the taps, reading the facial washes and shower gels, trying to straighten the bath mat with my feet, it all takes time.

[smudge]

It's probably because men have more tackle to sort out than us ladies!

[RATTER15]

I'm always in and out in 5 mins, its not a place i want to spend a lot time in!!

[Birt]

Ladies do not actually pass waste the same as men. All soild waste is magiaclly transported from inside the female to the toilet without them even haviong to do a thing. That is also why women do not trump.

[crete]

could it be the fact that men feel the need to take reading material into the toilet ?

[CLOWN TICKLE]

sorry regular as clockwork and never more than a minute

[crete]

Whiffey you forgot to mention you also knit a jumper and take the hem up on your slax.

[buttons]

Smithers!! Seriously too much information! Next you'll be talking about pebble dashing.....

[Im a BusyBee]

my hubby doesnt smoke in the house but does in our toilet 'out the back' of the house so i assumed he took a while as he was smoking in the warm as opposed to standing outside!

[whiffey]

Yes crete, and blow my nose into the wash basin.

[crete]

didnt want lunch anyway..............

[robbo82]

Personally, it's because I usually read so have to wait until I've finished the particular paragraph/article I'm on before leaving. Sometimes, if I get carried away, I can get through a whole newspaper (which can then be recycled if I've run out of toilet roll...)

[Pippa68]

Maybe it's because men think things are bigger than they actually are?

The poo probably landed 10 minutes ago, but they need to wait a while as that one was far too small..

[crete]

smithers im interested how you would know what contractions felt like ?

[WendyS]

Perhaps it's because you're not eating a healthy diet, i.e. not enough fibre and fresh fruit and vegetables, or also not taking enought exercise.
Fibre and vegetables pass through the intestine more smoothly, and exercising, especially walking, exercises the bowels which stimulates them to pass the material through more quickly, and it also helps to prevent constipation.

[whiffey]

Healthy poo is not a series of contractions, it's not about straining at stool. It's about a relaxed splatter, not as extreme as a post-vindaloo shower, but a gentle series of plops of varying urgencies, with a good book.

Beer festival then curry, say no more.

[Pippa68]

And if 'Dr' McKeith is to be believed, it shouldn't stink either...