Need a joke

[Gnisy]

Need a laugh. Nothing online is helping. Requesting help from ABers. Quick, throw me one. I'm dying here... alrkkk...

[McNoodle]

Why are pirates called pirates?

[McNoodle]

- because they AAAAAAARRRE!!

[4getmenot]

Got this this morning
Married couple in their sixties are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish. I want to travel round the world with my darling husband, said the wife � 2 tickets for a luxury cruise appear in her hand. Husband says sorry love my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me. So fairy waves her wand and husband becomes 92. Moral of story � men who are ungrateful ******** should remember fairies are female :-)

[McNoodle]

It's funnier if you can hear it... honest...

[MORELLO]

A woman's in bed when her husband comes in with a sheep under his arm and says "this is the ugly thing I have to resort to f*****g when you're too tired"

His wife replies that it's quite good looking for a sheep?


To which he replies - "I'm talking to the soddin' sheep!"

[Blyss]

what does a cow with no lips say


















ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[noxlumos]

Paul McCartney bought his wife Heather Mills a plane for Christmas... and a Lady Shave for the other leg :)

[PinkFizz]

LAMO @ Nox - sick,but funny!

[Richie1976]

There�s a woman standing in the mirror naked, looking at herself and she says to her husband, �I feel fat and ugly, pay me a compliment�.
The husband turns, looks at his wife and say, �Your eyesight is f**king spot on!�

[Matheous]

Good ones Ritchie & Morello!!!

[bluevern]

two fish in a tank one says to the other one,can you drive this ******* think

[bluevern]

thing,imean

[crapmemory]

Two fat blokes go into a pub."Your round" says one, "So are you, you fat *******!"

[crapmemory]

Two fat blokes go into a pub."Your round" says one, "So are you, you fat b*****d!"