should i buy condoms for my nearly 16 year old step son and his girlfriend

[e beswick]

my step son who is nearly 16 has asked i can buy him and his girfriend condoms .i did suspect they were sexuay active and they confirmed this yesterday with there concerns that she may be pregnant .my husband is older and thinks buying condoms will only encourage them to have sex ,while i m not so sure allthough i would prefer them not to have sex yet know i know they are would buying them condoms and talking to them about safe sex and how use the different contraception correctly be a better way of ensuring they are safe

[PinkFizz]

very tricky one.How old is the girlfriend?

[RATTER15]

If they both feel they are old enough to have sex they should also be old enough to take responsibility for buying their own condoms!! but yes a talk about safer sex is not a bad thing, trouble is at that age they usually think they know it all already.

Good luck

[kate1976]

Better to be safe than sorry! If it was me then I would buy them for him or give him the money to buy them. They're going to have sex whether you know or not so at least he's able to come to you and ask if you'd buy condoms!

Maybe you could direct them to a family planning clinic (details from GP or NHS direct) They will get all the advice they need and also may get free condoms!

[PinkFizz]

I agree - he will have sex whether you buy them or not so best to be safe than sorry!

I would be worried if the girl was underage though.

[andy-hughes]

Have to agree with the previous responses.

The major problem with sex education is not that young people have sex, it's that their parents act as though 'their' child doesn't do 'that sort of thing', and acts as if it's not happening.

The fact that your stepson is discussing the purchase of condoms with you tells you two things - he is already, or is seriously consdering a sexual relationship, and he feels close enough to you to be able to discuss it with you.

He obviously wants to take a responsible approach, so you need to ensure that he is aware of all the forms of contraception, and the consequences of failing to use contraception.

I told my three daughters the same statistic - becauxe the act of intercourse is designed by nature to create a pregnancy, the odds are seriously in favour of that result being achieved. To put that into perspective - if every sperm from the average ejactlation was to fertalise an egg, then the popuolation of North America (the continent that is, including Canada, second biggst country in the world) would double. Then I would pase, and say that it only takes one of those sperm to fertlise one egg - so think about those odds. Intercourse makes babies - unless you intervene in advance.

Have the conversation, and take it from there.

Good luck.

[e beswick]

My step sons girlfriend is 2 weeks off her 16 th birthday i have advised they go to the nearest family planning clinic however we live in a small rural village with no reliable public transport and i do not drive. she is going to go on the pill at her next period (this is her mothers sugestion) but thas not much help for now and the pill doesnt protect against S.T.Is or reduce the risks of cervical cancer . thaks for your comments so far

[pingu748]

Lets face it .. he asked ! How responsible can you get ... Must have taken some nerve ... give him some credit where its due and buy them for him ... as long as she is old enough ...

[PinkFizz]

I would also point out that she is still under age for 2 weeks and although unlikely,he could get into trouble should somebody notify the authorities.

He probably will still carry on,but just let him know.He sounds a sensible young man.

[maggie01]

I see where you are coming from, but her parents may think you are encouraging them. I am not sure you would be too popular with them.

[madham]

I think you should be congratulated... you must have a very good relationship if he asked you. Me personally would recommend he goes to the Family Planning Clinic but would buy him some to be going on with as they will do it regardless of whether they should. But before you do that maybe you should get her a pregnancy test. Good luck.

[curiosity]

I think this shows (as many others have said) that you have a good relationship with the lad. However if you buy them, potentially you might get backlash from her folks if they found out, however I work with family planning nurses who basically have this dilemma constantly thrown at them, and they are damned if they do damned if they don't. The age really is the least relevant issue compared with unprotected sex and the impact it could have, the law would not consider a mutually agreed 15year olds relationship to be a major issue.

[dancecaller]

Is this going to cause problems between you and your husband?
I should buy them, and then discuss the pros and con

[ruthann58]

tell your husband its a lot cheaper to buy them condoms then packs of nappies and all the stuff that a baby needs they are already having sex , what he thinks about it ,is not going to stop them ,any more than it did any of us when we were young ,did any of us listen to what our parents thought ,you have a good relationship with your son make sure he can always turn to you, they all have to learn their own way just as we did good luck

[caron musson]

I buy them for my lad he is 17 his girlfriend 16 although I do not agree with it I would rather them be safe than sorry !!!